Category Archives: By That You Mean Podcast

BTYM Podcast: Episode 78 – It’s Fine, Nick

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More to come…


BTYM Podcast: Episode 77 – Now Hep C Free

logo 2This episode of the BTYM podcast is brought to you by infections diseases, knife skills, and garam masala. Continue reading

BTYTM Podcast: Episode 76 – Trap Her Keeper

logo 2Sorry we’re so late on this one. On the other hand…this is free? This is free.

Well the wait was definitely worth it, ladies and gentlepersons, because this podcast is a doozy! We’re talking full-on ridiculous klassy stuff here.

No need to ruin the surprise in the story, so stop reading this and go listen. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 75 – Flaky Friends

logo 2Digging super deep into the BTYM coffers we’ve dug out this hairy little nugget. It’s a podcast about flakes. You know, those friends who say one thing but mean another. Or say they’ll do something but then flake out.

Yep, we sound like tools. But for your enjoyment!

Also, we recorded this like 6 months ago and don’t remember any of the complaints. Plus, no one listens anyway. Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 74 – Coonthe Hotels

OK so the title requires a little explanation. This isn’t a podcast really about hotels, although they do play a role. It’s more about how Chelsea and Michael differ on what constitutes a good value. Sort of. It’s easier to just listen than to explain.

Also no one reads this part. I DEFY someone reading this to make it known that they do in fact read it! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 73 – Accidental Hate Crime

We don’t really want to spoil this little gem with too much introduction, because part of the fun of this podcast was in the explanation.

We will give you one clue, though:


Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 72 – House Cunters

It’s a big day for Chelsea, and no, not for the reason you’re thinking of. She totally is still full of crabs. Those you just can’t get rid of, like herpes. Which incidentally she also has. Everywhere.

Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yes: big day.

Chelsea’s buying a house! Well, sort of.

Listen in as we talk about the many ups and downs of being a first-time home owner, in what can only be described as the best/most offensive podcast title in recent memory.

Yes, we’re even including “Sandy Vagina” in that one.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast, Episode 71 – Sandy Vagina

EMERGENCY UPDATE: No, By That You Mean didn’t fall into a K-hole, but we were affected by Aunt Sandy.

We’ve banded together a bunch of dead hobos into a makeshift raft and are currently floating back to land, slowly.

We’ll have more posts later this week, and next week’s podcast will go up on schedule as usual.

Today, though, let’s talk about the storm. And obviously also about vaginas.

When would we not? Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 70 – LuYonce’

This one’s an oldie but a goodie. We’re dipping way way deep into the BTYM coffers for this old story. So deep. So, so deep.

Wait what? Oh yes. Stories!

Well, this is a delightful if meandering tale about a guy, a girl, and a pizza place. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 69 – Trivia (SNL / DS9)

It’s our 69th podcast, and we have nothing to show for it. Seriously, we didn’t plan this well. And rape is not funny, dude. That’s not cool. But seriously, it’s time for more trivia.

This time we’ll have Chelsea answering Saturday Night Live questions and Michael taking up the rear of the podcast with Star Trek: Deep Space 9.

What happened to the first 8 deep spaces? I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 68 – Murder Face

It’s no secret that we here at By That You Mean have been on a sort of, shall we say dark streak? We continue that this week with a tale of one very creepy element at an otherwise fabulous high school reunion. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 67 – Kill Yourself

Following on the heals of last week’s contentious podcast, this week we’re back to speak more generally about who should kill themselves and why.

No, seriously. Kill yourself. We’re not joking.

No but more seriously everyone donate to suicide prevention or something.

Responsible blogging! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 66 – Dumpster Diving

This podcast is hot garbage. Literally. Dumpster Diving! Is it an Olympic sport? Are we now being sued by the Olympic Committee?

Is anything real anymore?

Episode 66! It feels…significant? We’re so close to 69. AKA, the sexy episode. Well, not really. That one will probably be about putting pets to sleep or what we would do if aliens landed. Normal podcast topics.

Just like this. A podcast about garbage. Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 65 – True Blood

Another week = another special guest host. Please give a warm welcome to returning guest host Nick. Oh you can’t do that because this isn’t a live radio program. Shut up.

This week we’re a’talkin’ True Blood. That’s our Louisiana accent. Get it?

In much the same vein as previous podcasts about GleeSmash, and Star Trek, listen as we discuss what we love, what we hate, and what we love to hate about this very strange show.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 64 – Special Emmys 2012 Edition

We couldn’t let this year’s Emmys broadcast go by without doing a podcast, could we?

BTYM stopped the digital presses to bring you this emergency podcast.

Predictions, criticisms, bets, threats…these are things, things that must go into an Emmys podcast.

You’re welcome.

(Normal BTYM podcast to follow on Monday as usual.)

Phew. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 63 – You Smell Like Cat Piss

Hear ye, hear ye! It’s time for another episode of the By That You Mean Podcast.

We’re the official podcast of when you are on the subway and hear something revolting, so you make a face, but the people around you don’t hear what you’re hearing and so don’t understand the context, and instead they make snake-eye faces back at you, like “Ugh, who is THIS person?”

Well today our friends, Michael recounts just such a story that will make your eyes puke and your ears melt. Not quite, but it’s up there. On the eyes puking scale of 1 to 10 we give it a “gazoinks!”

Enjoy. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 62 – Not Without My Beirut

It’s a very special edition of the By That You Mean Podcast. Chelsea is joined by a very special guest host, Layla, who recently joined Michael on a trip to Beirut.

Yes, that Beirut. We went a week after this happened.

But it was fabulous! And slightly scandalous! We took pictures!

This one’s deservedly long, so grab some humus and park yourself in a sex sling, because here it comes!

BONUS GALLERY: Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 61 – Dreams

Happy Labor Day! We’re taking the week off at By That You Mean to pause and reflect on what labor means to us.

Just kidding here’s a long-ass podcast about dreams.


Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 60 – Goat Island (UPDATED)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be stranded on a deserted island? What would you bring? Who would you have sex with? What would you make cheese out of?

These are questions the BTYM Podcast’s extremely talented hosts, Michael and Chelsea, have thought long and hard about. So long. And so so hard.

What would they bring? Their answers may surprise you. First, to send a few ground rules… Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 59 – 2 Spiders 1 Web

Occasionally the hosts of the BTYM podcast will put a lot of thought into a podcast topic, only to be far funnier and spontaneous in the intro, which is cut in editing.

So we’re starting a new trend with episode 59 by including one such snippet. Consider it an easter egg or a blooper. A solid gold easter egg blooper!

Or as Chelsea would say, aeygah. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 58 – Animal Trivia

It’s time for another trivia edition of the BTYM podcast. This time we’re going wild. That’s right, it’s animal trivia. And then a pun about animals goes here!

Chelsea took predatory animals, obvy, while Michael took prey (which it turns out is like, every animal).

We’ve also included below an extra special copy of the questions and answers so that all of our deaf readers can play along.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 57 – Gaydar

What’s the T girl? You loke like death. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Brace yourself, bitch.

That’s right it’s gay week at By That You Mean. Oh, wait, that was like a month ago? Shit, well, it’s gay week in space. Where no one can hear you queen!

This week your hosts discuss that elusive sixth sense: gaydar. Do you have it? Do you need it? By the end of this podcast will we have made you gay?

There’s only one way to find out. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 56 – He’s Probably Dead

This is the true story (“true story!”)

of three strangers…

two living in an apartment complex, one living somewhere else…

who work separately and have their phones ring…

to find out what happens…

when people stop being polite…

and start getting real…

The By That You Mean Podcast. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 55 – Comic Sans, Part 2

Welcome back folks! It’s the By That You Mean Podcast’s epic conclusion to last week’s Comic-Con episode. Will Chelsea and Michael go to Hawaii? Will they learn the secret of the ooze? Is it judgment day? Does the empire strike back? And more movie references and so on and so forth…

We conclude this week with a quick recap of the second half of our time in San Diego, which was in stark contrast to the success of the first day.

Yes that’s right: we were out-nerded.

But that’s not to say it was a total loss. No, far from it! We saw hentai body pillows, Vanessa Williams, epic cosplay, graphic novel artists, and even a zombie or two hundred.

Hope you enjoy, and please peruse the bonus gallery below. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 54 – Comic Sans, Part 1

Fitting for its first podcast following BTYM’s one year anniversary (which started a year ago on a nerdy trip), Chelsea and Michael have ventured all the way to San Diego for Comic-Con International.

Yes, the Nerd Olympics.

We went there.

You’re welcome.

In this first half of a two-part series, we discuss our thoughts on our virginal first day. SPOILER ALERT: It went well! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 53 – Anniversary Edition!

Sweet lord can we not believe By That You Mean made it a whole year! We have poured our blood, sweat, and other bodily secretions into this [some might say vanity] project, and it has royally paid off in the form of literally tens of fans.

But seriously, it’s been a fun year, and though we have way too many people and robots to thank, we’d like to put out a special mention to some that made this all possible:

the city of Seattle
that fourteen-year-old at the Test Track ride in Epcot who was considering having a hentai cake
mussel poop
Zoe the dog
babies, fake or otherwise

Avatar the Last Airbender

and many more… 

It would obviously not be a true BTYM anniversary week without a podcast, and to commemorate this our 53rd episode, we’re naturally going to be talking all about ourselves.

As opposed to all those others times we totally didn’t do that. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 52 – Getting Old

In honor of our 52nd, fiscal year-ending (what’s a fiscal?) podcast, Chelsea and Michael are talking about what else — getting old.

From pickling to going to bed early to being confused by the passage of time, it happens to all of us.

It’s the last podcast before the mega anniversary episode next week!

So listen in, and leave us a comment if you have any thoughts. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 51 – Boozetro

All the booze that’s fit to print! Same booze time, same booze channel!

Occasionally we here at By That You Mean will record entire podcasts’ worth of extraneous dialogue both before and after the podcasts. Well not so much as “occasionally” as it is “every single time.” You, dear listeners, never get to hear those delicious morsels.


Just prior to the upcoming [SPOILER ALERT] BTYM Anniversary Edition (TM) podcast, which you’ll hear in a few weeks, Chelsea and Michael mused on about one of their favorite topics: booze.

It’s not as future candidacy-destroying as it sounds, we promise. Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 50 – Top Films!

It’s By That You Mean’s 50th podcast! That seems like a lot! As we gear up for the epic Anniversary Week coming up in July, we’re slowly winding our way through some old podcasts that have been kicking around.

Not to say this one’s boring. No, fuck no. Fuck that.

This one’s amazeballs! In it we discuss our top movies of all times, or as Chelsea refers to it: your deserted island list. Which ones made the cut? You’ll have to listen to find out. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 49 – Glee

At long last, Glee has been put to bed for the season. And what a season it was! Lots of ups and downs, but mostly downs. Down syndrome that is!

But enough ridiculing people with disabilities, let’s get down to business. By that I mean critiquing the state of Glee.

We are once again privileged to be joined by extra special guest host, Beth, of Smash fame. Well, Smash recap fame…not like, being on Smash. You know what I meant.

I’ll warn you, this be a long podcast, but remember that this is a show with lots and lots of drama. It begs discussion. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 48 – Trivia 4: Philaphobia / Phobophilia

You asked for it, and we sort of got around to doing it eventually.

That’s right! It’s more trivia!

This time around we’ve gone with a complementary phobia / philia theme. Michael’s questions for Chelsea are not surprisingly dense (he likes to hear himself talk), while Chelsea’s are characteristically macabre (or as she puts it, “I hope the Feds don’t look up my Google searches.”).

So listen in and see how many you can guess correctly!

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 47 – Smash!

Another week, another Very Special Guest Host (TM). Today we are joined by the lovely Beth, AKA fdfaumders, who as many of our readers will know writes the epic Smash! director’s notes.

So it should be no surprise that we’re dissecting the first season of Smash. Is it a grown-up Glee? Should you watch it next season? What will happen to Elis’ hair?

All will be revealed!

Well…some stuff will be revealed.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 46, Road Rage

Welcome back folks! This week your hosts Chelsea and Michael discuss how much they loathe other drivers, otherwise known as road rage.

Think of it as a spiritual sequel to the epic Bike Entitlement podcast.

Racial profiling and homophobic rants will be kept to a minimum, we promise.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 45, Deep Space Nine



The By That You Mean Podcast goes into total dork mode, discussing arguably the geekiest of all Star Trek series: Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

Who on the cast would Chelsea bang? How many time has Michael watched the finale?

You’ll just have to listen and find out! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 44, Battlestar Galactica

Today we’re once again joined by Extra Special Guest Host (TM), Nick! He stopped by to help us discuss the masterful Battlestar Galactica.

Listen in as we talk all things BSG: Cylons, New Caprica, “All Along the Watchtower,” Romo Lamkin, Romo Lamkin’s cat, and of course the controversial finale.

We hope you enjoy, and as always let us know what you think. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 43, Fake a Boyfriend

We got a little ahead of ourselves last year when we planed out how one could theoretically fake a baby.

But we skipped a step.

As we all know, when a man and a woman love each other very much, he puts his boodongle in her whodiddle. 9 months later a fetus crawls out and becomes a person.

Before you can get to that point, you need a man and a woman, which brings me to today’s discussion: faking a girlfriend or boyfriend.

It’s surprisingly useful. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 42 – Weddings

We know we always say this, but this week’s podcast is super special.

You see, this week we’ve finally had a guest host join, and a regular listener at that.

Nick so kindly joined Michael and Chelsea to discuss their mutual hatred for weddings. No, that’s the wrong word. Commitment Ceremonies.

Just kidding, no hate was spoken.

Well, a little.

We kid! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 41 – The Hunger Games

Well, you saw this one coming, didn’t you? Yes, dear listeners, we are “Hunger Games” fanatics, and thus a podcast must be made in its honor.

Naturally, we’re talking about the recent movie and the book it’s based on. Throw in a little North Carolina pride, some awkward moments, and BOOM it’s Webby gold. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 40 – Curry Goes with Everything

Well hello there folks. The By That You Mean Podcast is now officially middle-aged, but that’s not stopping us. Oh no sir!

This week we’re talking about the propensity to use various random, often odd, seldom coordinating ingredients. We divert slightly to talking about supertasting — which is a thing — and I think we pretty conclusively prove we are not supertasters. ourselves.

Then we end with a promise to follow up with an interactive podcast later on. Part 2 if you will.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 39, Nerd Haven – Part 2

As the By That You Mean Podcast inches closer to middle age (episode 40) it’s perhaps fitting that we take another look back at our formative years.

Yep, that’s right. We’re talking North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics, or in other words, Nerd Haven. This time we forgo almost any backstory about the school and just go straight into anecdote after anecdote about our zany time there.

Not to spoil anything, but let’s just say Chelsea’s examples make you wonder how she even…graduated.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 38, The Lovin’ Spoonful

Oh my gosh, we cannot tell you how excited we were to do this week’s podcast, not to mention obviously less share it with everyone.

And by “everyone,” obviously we mean a handful of fans. Loyal fans.

Anyway, so we took a cue from your Top Chefs and your Choppeds and your Chopped Chefs and decided to do a blind tasting.

The rules were pretty simple:

  1. Must fit on a spoon and be a food you’d conceivably eat a spoonful amount of.
  2. Must not have “mean” ingredients, like wasabi or black pepper.
  3. Must not be seafood.
  4. Must not need cooking.

As you’ll see/hear, that narrowed down the list a bit — surprisingly even. Hope y’all enjoy, because you better believe we’re gonna do this one again. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 37, Sponsored by Agoraphobia

Did you know that your BTYM Podcast hosts generally prefer to interact with a computer rather than a person? I know, I know. Pretty surprising for people who run a snarky third-rate blog, but it’s true.

You see, we have what the medical community would refer to as “Digital Agoraphobia,” wherein we will substitute a text message, a touchscreen, or a computer interface of any kind if it means we can cut out human contact, no matter how minuscule the task.

Please note: By That You Mean is not endorsed by or otherwise affiliated with the following non-sponsors: Dominos, Amazon, Chase Bank, Paypal,, Adam & Eve.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 36, TV Addiction

Here at By That You Mean we have a problem. A problem with words? No. A problem with television. Clearly, we watch a lot of it. Too much, some might say. We’re…addicted…if you will. Is it harmless? Yes. Is it defenseless? Debateable. Is it sad? Hey, what’s with all the questions!

What we do know is that we can fill forty minutes of a podcast describing the various ways in television has consumed our lives.

Speaking of, there’s a new episode coming on right now…

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 35, Vienna/Prague (Eastern Europe: Part 2)

You’ve patiently waited for the epic conclusion to the Eastern Europe/Budapest  podcast, and now you have it. I don’t dare spoil the ending, but just know that the trip takes a truly…unexpected turn towards the end.

No Lipizzaner horses were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Let us know what you think in the comments, and as always thanks for listening.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 34, Oscars

You know what happens this weekend, don’t you? The Superbowl of Movies. The Wimbledon of Hollywood. The Other Sportsy Thing for Another Name for Movies.

It’s the Oscars, folks, and Chelsea and Michael have some predictions and observations to share. We, of film-expertise, that is.

And for the record, no, Milla Jovovich didn’t die of a heroin overdose 10 years ago.

Hope this earlier timeslot works for everyone. We thought it should probably air before the, you know, Oscars.

Enjoy! Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 33, Guns!

This week Chelsea and Michael take a break from all of the serious things they always seem to get hung up on and instead turn to a more light-hearted topic. Just kidding they talk about guns.

We’re still a little new at this whole user-submitted topic thing (thanks, Nick, for the suggestion!), so bear with us. How did it work? Any other topic ideas? Should we quit and go home? Wait, don’t answer that last one. Remember, we have guns.

And we know how to use them.

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 32, Wait Wait, Shut Up, It’s Valentine’s!

You asked. We sort of listened. It’s time for the third installment of By That You Mean Trivia. And just in the nick of time, we’ve poopcasted out a special Valentine’s Day edition! It’s actually the first time we’ve settled on one theme and each took two different sides: Chelsea the loving, light side; Michael the hating, dark side. Who wins, and who loses? Well just listen to find out, and play along at home/showering/driving/being mugged.

Is this love, that I’m feeling?

Comments are always appreciated. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 31, Nerd Haven

No amount of prefacing, caveating, or just plain downplaying can alter the unmistakable fact that Chelsea and Michael have really set a record for pretentiousness in this week’s podcast.

You see, dear listeners, we didn’t technically meet in college when we were resident advisors together, as mentioned in our earlier posts. No, that’s when we became friends. In fact, we had met fully 2 years prior at a little place we like to call

The North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics

Dun dun dun!

“S&M” for short.

There is only one place this can go, and it is not an antonym for smug. Don’t believe me? Check out the sweet-ass medal we received upon graduation, found after the break. Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 30, Art of the Table

It’s time for one last episode from the fruitful 2011 Seattle trip, folks, so strap yourself and get ready cuz this one’s a doozy! We culminated things as we typically do, with an absurd tasting dinner, in this case at Art of the Table.

Do the words “organic,” “local,” and “sustainable” titilate you? Well, you have a problem. Seriously. Stop harassing us with your farm slash-fanfiction, really!

Oh, podcast. Right. Well, though we take a fairly linear path through explaining each course (of which there were more than what appear on the menu, which we’ve included here) and how we felt, the meal was anything but ordinary. There’s really no way to explain without listening, but we’ll give you some hints: gong, hot air balloon, wedding ring

Oh, and bonus gallery after the break!

Continue reading

BTYM Podcast: Episode 29, Dream Jobs

Every time I type “dream jobs” I honestly have to stop myself from breaking into, “here’s your dream jobs, here’s your dream jobs…dream jobs will never you leave you.”

Copyright, Blue Ivy Carter.

This week your hosts have come prepared with 3 of their top dream jobs. Somehow Michael’s are all pathetic while Chelsea’s are all aspirational. Not sure how that happened.

Hope you enjoy, and leave us your thoughts in the comments!

Continue reading