Author Archives: funnynurse

SNL Season 40 Premiere: Chris Pratt / Ariana Grande

SNL_Chris_Pratt_752x423Welcome back! This is Season 40 of Saturday Night Live!

Let’s get down to business.

Sure, rumor had it that Bill Murray was to host, but, fuck it, they went with Chris Pratt. You remember Chris…star of Guardians of the Galaxy and The Lego Movie. Since his image has been everywhere this summer, it makes sense he would be host. Also, he seems comfortable in his own skin, and a little self-deprecation is necessary to be a good SNL host.

Overall, I was kind of amazed at how good this episode was. There were some big changes: Continue reading

SNL Season Finale: Andy Samberg / St.Vincent

andy-2Well, we made it through another year. We stuck with it and finally, finally, we got rid of Seth Meyers! Congratulations, America!

Let’s move on.

For the season finale, as with the season premiere, SNL usually brings out the big guns — some famous or infamous movie star or huge talent — OR they bring back a former cast member. This year, it was the latter with Andy Samberg at the helm, fresh off a Golden Globe win for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Samberg came to reprise his role as the strange adorkable guy best remembered for Digital Shorts.

There were not many sketches that hit me in the funny bone. Despite the plethora of “surprise” celebrity guests like Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Bill Hadar, Seth Meyers, Kristen Wiig, Paul Rudd and (I assuming the real) Two Chains, many of the sketches fell flat. I have said it once, but I will say it again…bringing in old blood from glorious SNL seasons past only shows the lack of talent SNL has now.

Continue reading

SNL: Jamie Foxx / Ne-Yo

SNLOkay. I am just going to say what we are all thinking. This episode os Saturday Night Live is kind of racist.

Since I am hiding behind a blog and a pseudonym, readers may not know that I am Caucasian. My race makes it harder to explore race and even harder to enjoy humor that plays on racial stereotypes.

With that said, Jamie Foxx seems to think the only way he can be funny is to poke fun at those same stereotypes. From the very beginning his monologue is built around the tagline, “how black is that?” And it is all black from here on.

Enough about my white guilt, onward, to the review! Continue reading

SNL: Jeremy Renner / Maroon 5

thumbOh, Saturday Night Live, here we go again.

Jeremy Renner has a face like an old leather sack. It is that grizzled look that makes him perfect for all those hard-worn, deeply-troubled action roles. Like in The Hurt Locker. And The Town. And The Bourne Legacy. And Mission Impossible. You get the idea — he is a badass.  Then why is he on the longest-running television comedy show? Because SNL is an amazing, magical place where dreams come true, and even leather sacks can be funny.

ONWARD — to the review of the show! Continue reading

SNL: Anne Hathaway / Rihanna

I cannot believe this is the 3rd time Anne Hathaway has hosted Saturday Night Live.  I am not sure from whence my confusion comes, but I think it starts with me being unable to think of a single memorable sketch that involved Anne Hathaway.  On that note, do you think this episode gives us some ground-breaking performances by the host Hathaway? And do you hope that the monologue is not some sad Les Miserables send-up?

Not to spoil the surprise, but the answer to both questions is no.

Read on to find out more!!! Continue reading

SNL: Louis CK / fun

Another week and another episode of Saturday Night Live. I have not been this excited about a host in a long time. I am a shameless fan of Louis CK. He is smart, honest and makes the audience uncomfortable. In this venue (live sketch comedy) I was curious to see how he would perform — he writes, directs, produces and acts for his own show, so anyone with that much knowledge and control could have a hard time excelling in this struggling show. I was very pleasantly surprised. Louis CK did a great job. Sure, part of my enjoyment came from that fact that his monologue was not a song.

Enough about how much I love Louis CK, let’s talk about the episode. Continue reading

SNL: Bruno Mars

It’s another Saturday night! Time to sit down with a bottle of wine and a check of Saturday Night Live hosted by Bruno Mars.

Who? Oh, Bruno Mars. I vaguely know him as the young soul-filled singer who is on the radio right before I switch it, so I was surprised to see him pulling double-duty this week as both host and musical guest. While not unheard of (see full list here), it is usually for super famous people (Sting, Dolly Parton, Justin Timberlake, Mick Jagger) — people who are up the challenge of double duty.

I am going to shut up now and just say that, holy shit, Bruno Mars was awesome. Not sure if this is because of my lowered expectations, or because he was truly exceptional. Who cares, at this point, I will take it.

Continue reading

SNL: Christina Applegate/Passion Pit

Oh, holy, sweet baby zombie Jesus, this is what I am talking about. Forget about overworked political numbers, gone are the stupid voices of yesterday. Welcome the smart, provocative, and hilarious Saturday Night Live you remember from your childhood.

Of course, I am assuming that you just fast-forward through “Weekend Update” because, seriously, that is minutes of your life you will never get back.

Let’s do this. Continue reading

SNL: Daniel Craig/Muse

Oh no, it’s a British Invasion!! Actually, I would welcome some smart, elegant British humour on nights like tonight…you know, when the longest running comedy show in the history of America is so awful you want to smash your TV with a cat.

So here we are, another long episode of Saturday Night Live, this time featuring 007 Daniel Craig and prog-rock band Muse. Craig highlights the badassitutde of the characters he has portrayed by presenting an In Memoriam complete with fog. It was unpleasant. On that note, let’s just get right down to the best and worst of the show. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Season 2 – Premiere

Things are changing this season on Once Upon a Time. In the first season we learned that Storybrooke, Maine is filled with characters who had been cursed by the Evil Queen to forget everything and spend eternity in Maine…a fate worse then death. At the end of last season, the curse was lifted, and a purple smoke haze brought magic and memories back, but the inhabitants of Storybrooke were never transported back to their fairy tale world. That is the best that I can do to fill you in because, honestly, this is not a show you can start in the second season. I am not entirely convinced this is a show you should start in the first season, but oh well, here we are. Continue reading

SNL Weekend Update Thursday: Episode 2

Please tell me this is the last Weekend Update I will have to suffer through on an otherwise happy Thursday night! I mean, what the fuck, Seth Meyers, must you ruin everything you touch?

The show started with a political cold open —  a town hall meeting with Obama in Ohio. This was not funny because it was a little bit too true. Jokes about the unemployed, foreclosed homes, meth addiction and immigration were kind of depressing. Kudos to Jay Pharaoh, though. He is continuing to impress with his Obama impression. Continue reading

SNL: Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Mumford & Sons

After what I consider a strong start to the season last week, Saturday Night Live continued the long-standing tradition of being a hot mess.

The overall theme for tonight’s show is to make the host Joseph Gordon-Levitt “do voices.” regardless of his talent, looks or comic timing, the SNL writers seemed determined to make JGL sound like an idiot.

I noticed the voices around the 2nd sketch. After JGL put his clothes back on, he does the Spanish voice, then he does a 20’s Film Noir voice, an over the top teenage boy, and a white rapper guy. So many awful voices, it was hard to focus. Okay, so those are the notes that I have for the host.

On to the best and worst of the night!

Continue reading

SNL: Weekend Update Thursday

Will someone explain to me why Lorne Michaels decided to take the WORST segment of Saturday Night Live and turn it into a prime-time special?

It is my own fault for not reading the title correctly. I assumed this would be as it was four years ago — a smart, celebrity-filled countdown to the Presidential Election. I wanted Tina Fey/Sarah Palin  and Will Ferrell/George W. Bush. I wanted more fake commercials.

Even if the show was not 100% focused on the election, what a great opportunity to include previous “Weekend Update” alums onto the stage? I would even take some Norm MacDonald! He is still alive, right?

Instead, I was subjected to 30 minutes of Seth Meyers awkwardly recycling jokes from the Daily Show. Continue reading

SNL: Season 38 Premiere – Seth MacFarlane / Frank Ocean

I can’t say that I missed the comedy of Saturday Night Live over the summer, but I did spend some time thinking how the show was going to survive with the loss of Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg. Oh, and also Abby Elliot.  Last season seemed to rest on the mighty shoulders of Wiig and sometimes the only well thought out segment would be the “Digital Short.” Who…whom…which comedians could possibly fill the void left in my heart?

It will be these three people, who I am not going to describe right now because they were practically non-existent in the premiere show. Instead, read about them here, at the Daily Beast. I will only state that I am looking forward to seeing some new characters, and the clips provided in this article do a lot to whet my appetite.

Okay, enough of that, let’s talk about the first show of the season. Continue reading

Cult: Series Premiere

This summer, I had the nerdy privilege of attending Comic-Con San Diego for the first time. Aside from the plethora of cosplay, acne, and virgins there were also premieres. To be more specific, many television and movie studios use Comic-Con to get buzz started on future releases. There are “much-anticipated” premieres (like the first trailer for The Hobbit) and there are some “interesting-but-not-exciting” first peeks (like Hotel Transylvania). What I saw falls very much into a third category called, “what is this and who cares?”

Let me paint the picture for you.

I struggled to find a seat close to the front so I could see the pseudo-celebrities up close. Sure this meant I was squashed next to a morbidly obese, type II diabetic on a Hoveround, but come on, I was getting free TV.

Some mouthpiece for the CW introduced the TV show Cult, describing it as a meta show within a show within a compound. At that description I was already plotting my escape for a bathroom break, and boy, would I be glad I did.  Continue reading

Glee Season 3 – Finale

I had to double check that this episode, entitled “Goodbye”, was in fact the last of the season for Glee. With a random mid-season break and prom, Nationals, weddings and graduations all crammed at the end of this season, it would be just like Ryan Murphy to drag this out until July.

So, yes, “Goodbye” is indeed the episode in which we say goodbye to the graduating members of the Glee Club. Up until the final minutes of the show, I was still unclear as to which cast members were actually going to be leaving, but apparently we get to say adios to Finn, Quinn, Rachel, Kurt, Santana, Mercedes, Mike Chan and Puck. The stroy lines are fizzled out, the loose ends are all frayed and tangled.  One last time, I got to sit down with a writer from the show to pick his brain about the show..one last time. Continue reading

SNL: Season 37 Finale / Mick Jagger

Finally, the end of season 37 of Saturday Night Live. I say “finally” not because I disliked this season, but because I am looking forward to a new, fresh season in August. SNL, the TV series of seemingly infinite do-overs.

Let’s just get down to it. And I am choosing to start at the end.

Continue reading

SNL: Will Ferrell/Usher

Hold on to your hats, audience, because Saturday Night Live took us through a time warp. With “vintage” sketches from alum Will Ferrell and musical guest Usher, it felt like 2001 again…and I am not convinced that is a good thing. If nothing else, this episode proved three very simple truths. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 21

As the season finale of Once Upon a Time approaches, the convoluted tale of cursed fairy tale characters is begging to reach a boiling point. Well, maybe not boiling, but it is definitely getting a low simmer.

Misguided analogies aside, the episode focused on the growing tensions between the townspeople (fairy tale characters) and the Mayor (The Evil Queen). Let’s do a quick breakdown of the two intertwining plots before we point out the overall ridiculousness of this show. Continue reading

SNL: Eli Manning / Rhianna

There are few things in this world that I truly enjoy, and one of them is when Saturday Night Live has a non-actor as a host. This can come in the form of a musician, or newscaster or, most commonly, an athlete.

These non-actors are often brilliant for 3 main reasons.

Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 20

With only three episodes left in this season, I am finally glad to see Once Upon a Time begin to solve some riddles. I was getting frustrated with back stories and time lines, but in this episode, we get some answers.
The biggest question I had up til now is “who is the writer?” The mysterious man who shows up claiming to be a writer. He steals the book of Fairy Tales from Henry, he helps uncover the Mayor’s involvement in a pseudo-murder and then he fakes being Rumpelstiltskin’s long-lost son. He clearly knows something about both worlds and I could wait no longer to find out the truth.

Spoiler Alert!!

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 6 – Season Finale

To the untrained eye, it might seem that my tardy review of the season finale of Shahs of Sunset is a sign of laziness. I assure you, this is not true. I simply waited so long to watch the last episode because I hate this goddamn show so much it gives me stress diarrhea. Which is totally a thing.

Enough about me, let’s talk about the show one last time. And I mean last. I am not watching this show ever again.

As Shahs winds down, the producers have artfully edited down the drama to show how these awful people have actually grown. This is a hard task to undertake because the characters are so shallow and self-obsessed (duh, they agreed to be on a reality show) that their respective growth story-arcs were always rather flat to begin with. But if you assume that “edit down the drama” means there will be no drama, then bitch, you forgot you were watching Bravo. Continue reading

Glee: Season 3, Episode 17 – Dance with Somebody

It should come as no surprise that I, just like the rest of America, loved (pre-crack) Whitney Houston. I have fond memories of listening to my tape as loudly as possible while belting out “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” into my microphone/hair brush. Because of my deference to the tragic and talented singer, when the news broke that Whitney died, I honestly thought to myself “Oh, God, no one tell Ryan Murphy!”  Well, someone told and I it was only a matter of time until the world had to be subjected to a Whitney-themed Glee.  I had the opportunity to sit down with one of the writers for the show and ask him some burning questions.

Can I just ask, how long after Whitney died did Ryan Murphy decide to do this episode? Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 19

Well, after a few weeks off Once Upon a Time is back, and it is bringing MAGIC! And if watching Disney’s Aladdin taught me anything, it is that magic comes with a price.

So, let’s get into some of the plot points. Continue reading

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 5

Hello again, Shahs. I would like to start by saying I really hope this show is not all about GG and Reza. Oh…that is all this show is about…the weak high school drama of two highly unlikable characters. Cool.

So here we are, at week five, and the cast of Shahs of Sunset seems to have dwindled by two. Mike was once again conspicuously absent from this episode. Sammy was present for about 30 seconds to hand over a pair of earrings to belatedly celebrate MJ’s birthday. Otherwise, the plot of this episode revolved around GG being a crazy bitch who contemplates anger management and Reza taking a trip to visit his “estranged” father in New York. Continue reading

SNL: Josh Brolin / Gotye

Please forgive me Josh Brolin, but I have no idea who you are. While I know about No Country for Old Men, The Goonies and True Grit, for some reason I never remember your name. So, Mr. Brolin hosted SNL again and actually did a pretty stand-up job. Though his performance within the sketches was solid, he did not stand out in a positive or negative way. When Brolin said he was hosting in support of his movie Men In Black III, I was 90% sure that the movie was released a few years ago. Sorry, MIB, but I don’t care about you. The highlight of the monologue was Josh Brolin as Tommy Lee Jones and Jay Pharoah as Will Smith. It makes me want to see more of Jay Pharoah. More please!! Continue reading

Glee: Season 3, Episode 15 – Big Brother

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a writer from the show Glee. Though he wished to remain anonymous, this writer was able to answer some of the serious questions I had about the episode “Big Brother.”

Thanks for taking the time to sit down with me. This episode was the mid-winter season premiere; was there pressure to produce some interesting story lines? Continue reading

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 4

Has it been a week already? That must mean my brain has recovered enough to once again subject it to Shahs of Sunset. Wonder what is happening to those pathetic Persian tools?

Turns out…not much. GG’s parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. Since GG is a toxic friend, the others spend much of the episode coming up with excuses not to show up. It also happens to be MJ’s birthday, but since she is not as fabulous as Reza, MJ opts to have a quiet dinner with her friend (singular friend), mom and dogs. Those are the two main events happening this week. As usual, this episode is very GG heavy. So, it you don’t like spoiled brats, eye-rolling or watching a tarted-up bitch flip her hair around, then this episode it not for you. If, however, you like high colonics, watching people buy cars and listening to “Tehrangeles” again then stay tuned! Continue reading

SNL: Sofia Vergara / One Direction

OH, Sofia Vergara. So beautiful. So unintelligible. I love Modern Family and think that Vergara is a excellent part of that ensemble. She has great comic timing and delivery, of course, that is when I can understand what the fuck she is saying. See, at first watch, I thought her accent on Modern Family was exaggerated and fake…but nope, that is just how she talks.

So, accent aside, I had high hopes for this week’s episode, and all in all, it was enjoyable. At several points throughout the episode, I laughed out loud and thought the best sketches were well dispersed — you know, how sometimes, after the Weekend Update the show can drag and you just beg for 1am? Well, that did not happen this time. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 18

I have to say that this episode of Once Upon a Time did not do it for me. I had such high hopes since this episode is entitled “The Stable Boy” and is the back story behind the Evil Queen. What makes her so evil? Was she born evil? How did she become a Step-mom? Why does she hate Snow White so much?

Well, okay, these questions are all answered. But not in a very entertaining way. We are making our way to the end of Season 1 and I am hoping for a little more pizzazz at this point. Continue reading

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 3

I apologize for the delay in recapping this episode, but honestly, I needed to listen to at least 40 hours of NPR to detox my brain from the last episode.

If you remember, we left the six spoiled brats of Shahs of Sunset in Las Vegas celebrating Reza’s 49th birthday. After GG caused drama with…everyone, we find that she bailed on Vegas in the middle of the night and found her way back to LA without notifying anyone. The rest of the crew take their private jet back a few hours later and begin their normal, boring lives in high-end million dollar real estate. From this episode I gather that if you want to buy a home in Los Angeles, you need to find yourself a Persian.
Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 17

Well, hello Mad Hatter!

Stop right there, I know what you are thinking. The Mad Hatter is not a fairy tale character. Well, shut up, because he is a work of fiction and the creators of Once Upon A Time have made it quite clear that there is only one requirement to become a character in Storybrooke: you must have been written down on paper before.

So what is the deal with this Mad Hatter? Let me break it down for you. Oh, and I am going to call The Mad Hatter “MH” from now on because I am lazy. Continue reading

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 2

It’s Reza’s birthday, bitches!!!

This flaming mustachioed diva is not going to celebrate his 40th birthday with any old party. Okay, truth be told, Reza’s age is not actually told so I am just assuming based on his face.

Anyway, Reza and the whole hairy gang all get together in Las Vegas to ring in his birthday with style. Persian Style. The day starts off with a fancy limo-bus ride to the airport where a private plane takes the group to the Aria hotel’s top penthouse. Much eating and drinking ensues, along with clubbing and dancing and more drinking. I hope the Aria hotel comped the other hotel guess that weekend because these Shahs of Sunset probably ruined their vacations. With the fighting and screaming and scream-fighting and fight-screaming and battles over whose outfit was more exclusive, these characters have continued to prove they are classless and sad human beings. Continue reading

Smash: Episode 7 Director’s Notes

The pressure was on this week for our Marilyn musical: workshopping in hopes of attracting investors so that the show can go on. Adding to the drama was of course Bernadette Peters playing Mama Rose to Ivy’s Gypsy. So, I guess I was wrong in thinking that Ivy had some sad mountain-folk back story. No, her mother was a famous Broadway star, whose refusal to compliment Ivy (and need for fame) leaves Ivy reeling from lack of confidence. And…I’m falling asleep. Yes, it all makes sense, but it was just too tired of a story line. I almost fast-forwarded through the “touching” moment when Mama Rose tells Ivy it’s only because she cares. Ugh.  Continue reading

Shahs of Sunset: Episode 1

As I was reading my notes for this premiere episode of Shahs of Sunset one phrase stuck out. A phrase that summed up the whole series.

Holy Shit — Everyone of these people is the worst.

And by them….I mean Persians.

For those who are unfamiliar with this train wreck, Shahs of Sunset is yet another Bravo reality show mess. Instead of housewives and fashion designers, this show focuses on the super rich Persians that fled Iran after therevolution and the rise of Ayatollah Kohmeini. Well, the characters of this show were children when their families (both Muslim and Jewish) fled to come to Los Angeles (playfully called Tehran-geles because it has the highest Persian population outside of Iran). Though the opening monologue insinuates that all the wealth was gone after the fleeing, I can not think of many other refugees that relocate to Beverly Hills…so I call shenanigans to these gold-chained, ridiculous, pathetic, fake-ass, hairy Shahs of Sunset. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 16

“Heart of Darkness” was the title of this week’s episode. “What the fuck does that mean,” you might ask yourself? Well it means that part-time nun, Mary Margaret, is being framed for MURDER! A heart in a box, loss of time, true love’s kiss, oh honey, this week you get it all. Law and Order: SFU (Special Fairy Unit). Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 15

Oh, Once Upon a Time…you brought it this week.

The title of this week’s episode was titled “Red Handed.” Within the very first few scenes, there were ominous wolves howling off in the distance. If that description reminds you of the fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood…then DING, you are correct. The bulk of this episode was a flashback to the history of Red. She is love, her grandmother is overprotective and the town in which she lives is being terrorized by a wolf once a month at the full moon. Okay, writers. I give you mad props for re-inventing this tale and kicking up the danger by adding werewolves. For some reason, I always assumed that the wolf was actually a wolf. But no. Werewolf. Continue reading

SNL: Jonah Hill / The Shins

Fresh off his Oscar Nomination, Jonah Hill comes to 30 Rockefeller Center to host this week’s Saturday Night Live.  I think I am getting ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.

The cold open this week was slightly less political…thank the Gods. Instead, SNL pokes fun at the human dirigible that is Rush Limbaugh. As anyone who watches the news would know, after Limbaugh attacked a young law student who spoke up in support of insurance paying for birth control, Rush lost dozens of sponsors. Don’t worry, there are plenty of other sponsors that can step in to support the Tea Party Hate Speach…like Musaki’s Dolphin Pellets and Schroder’s Fake Rape Whistles. I actually thought this was a great way to start the show and really enjoyed it. This was the perfect example of how talented the cast members of SNL really are. Close your eyes while watching and you will swear it is Rush Limbaugh speaking. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 14

Imagine a town in Maine that consisted of a bunch of fairy tale characters with modern stories. That about sums up the plot of Once Upon a Time.

This week, we are once again learning the back-stories of the town folk…one by one, episode by episode we are slowly figuring out the entangled lives of these fairy creatures.  Wonderfully, this time, the focus is on Grumpy, you know, one of the seven dwarfs.

In fact, we learn quite a bit about dwarfs this episode. So many things about dwarfs I though that it would be good to highlight a few of my own personal questions that were answered. I feel so enlightened. Continue reading

First World Problems

Going to the convenience store and being able to find only 2 magazines devoted to the new movie release of The Hunger Games. And when the cashier looks at you strangely, without missing a beat, you assure her the magazines are for your daughter…that you don’t actually have.

SNL: Lindsay Lohan / Jack White

Oh, Saturday Night Live…after a few weeks of reruns, I was happy to see the word “NEW” on my DVR. Then, I read a little more and saw that the host of the the show is none other than America’s favorite problem child — Lindsay Lohan. With no movie/TV/radio/object to promote, I can only assume she was chosen as the host because she is out of rehab or something. By the looks of Lohan, it seems her purpose is to celebrate having some plastic surgery on her face…not that I can blame her, I mean, who wants to spend their whole life looking like Lindsay Lohan? Continue reading

Albert Nobbs

As the 84th Academy Awards approaches, my friends and I needed to cram in as many nominated films as possible. One rainy night we were torn between The Iron Lady and The Artist. Sadly, the timing was not right and we went with our third choice…Albert Nobbs.

If I had to describe Albert Nobbs with just one word, it would be frustrating. Not that finding the word would be hard, but that the word would be “frustrating.”

And now I explain.

Albert Nobbs is the story of a man who is actually a woman dressed as man in order to make money in turn of the century Ireland. Nobbs, played by Glenn Close (earning her an Oscar nod), is an odd, seemingly emotionless man whose sole purpose seems to be to own a shop with his wife. Yup, just earn money, own a shop and get himself a wife. Nobbs shows no other emotions until he meets another man/woman and his world gets all shaken up. Stupid fleas.

Trust me, that last statement will make more sense after seeing the movie. Continue reading

Crazy Stupid Love

Crazy Stupid Love is all the reasons I do not go home with dudes from a bar.

  • Reason #1: A weird, awkward divorcee who is out to get balls deep in a new vagina.
  • Reason #2: A sketchy gigolo who drops one liners.
  • Reason #3: I am so desperate I would probably go home with those other reasons.

But enough about me, let’s talk about the movie.

Crazy Stupid Love starts at the end. Of a marriage. After 20-odd years together, Cal (Steve Carell) and Emily (Julianne Moore) are calling it quits. But how does Cal, who has devoted to one woman for so long, re-enter the dating scene? Enter Jacob (Ryan Gosling) a smooth-talking, lady-loving, man-whore who want to leave his womanizing ways and find his soulmate (Hannah — played by Emma Stone). Will they help each other out? Will they become mortal enemies? How will their paths cross? Let the farce begin!!

Continue reading

Ides of March

Ugh. Political Movies.

Not since A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum have I enjoyed a movie that was based on the farce of politics. As with the previous movie, The Ides of March focuses on backstabbing in politics…well, figurative backstabbing.

The basic plot of the movie reads like this: A young, faithful campaign manager (Ryan Gosling) gets a crash-course in ethics, dirty-politics and what it takes to succeed in politics after he learns the truth about his idol (George Clooney). That is all I want to tell you because the plot unfolding with the help of an amazing support cast is part of what makes this movie excellent. Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 13

Here we are again in the quaint little town of Storybrooke, Maine where nothing is as it seems.Once Upon a Timeblah blah, tag line, dark music, blah. While not a totally awful show, there are so many things that make me just moan, “oh, brother, are you serious?” Yes, I understand that using the word “serious” when referring to a made up drama about fairy tales says more about me than it does about the show. Call me old-fashioned, but I demand a little more realism from my fantasy. I am going to use this space to address some of my growing concerns. Continue reading

Midnight in Paris

Time for the Oscars means it is time for this Drunken Movie Critic to go see some movies!! Some are good (artsy, well-written, soul-crushing), and others are awful beyond all reason (the make-up artists and tech-geeks need a category, too).

All this searching through Academy Award Nominations brought me to a name I had not heard in a few years. Woody Allen. Now, it is not that Mr. Allen has been slacking, quite the contrary, it seems that every year he writes a new movie. I guess this is the first Woody Allen movie since 2008 that anyone has told me to care about. So long, Vicky Christina Barcelona.

Midnight in Paris takes us away from the streets of Allen’s typical NYC backdrop and follows screenwriter Gil (Owen Wilson), who is on sabbatical with his girlfriend Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her family. Frustrated with his girlfriend and her uppity, pretentious friends, he longs for the Paris of the 1920’s, when the Moulin Rouge was thumping, when artists like Picasso mingled with Hemmingway and T.S. Eliot; they gathered together to share ideas and foster creativity. Gil wanders the gorgeous Parisian streets, searching for inspiration when then clock strikes midnight and, next thing you know, he gets into a car and is transported to the 1920s. Continue reading

SNL: Maya Rudolph / Sleigh Bells

Oh, Maya Rudolph. I have missed you. And I think I love you.

If you are not familiar with Maya Rudolph, then you have been living under a pile of dog crap. She was a cast member on “SNL for seven years, and most recently, she has gained fame for Bridesmaids and the TV show Up All Night. Ringing any bells? Good. Because she is funny and talented and beautiful, and I think she just might be the host to elevate this faltering show.

Continue reading

Alcatraz: Episode something…who cares. Ugh, 5. Shut up.

It took every ounce of strength in my fat body to watch this episode of Alcatraz. At least, as a member of By That You Mean I get to pick the show apart and ask the confusing questions. Quite frankly, I am done with this show, and the only reason I watch it is because I get to mind-rape the creators and writers of this show and hold them accountable for their actions. This evening, after the episode “Guy Hastings,” I sat down with a member of the production staff to ask him/her what the hell is going on.

—–

So, can you explain to me how this show Alcatraz is different from any other procedural cop drama on TV right now?

Continue reading

Once Upon a Time: Episode 12

Oh Hell to the no, Once Upon A Time…you stepped it in this time.

I called shenanigans within 3 minutes of watching this episode. How dare you take Beauty and the Beast and change it like this, ABC? Who do you think you are? That movie won an Oscar (TM), and you think that you can just throw in the pregnant slag from LOST and some glittery Rumpelstiltskin face paint and expect the die-hard fans to just accept the plot twists. Fuck you, ABC, how dare you.

Here are all the reasons this episode made me want to go to Disney World and hug Belle.

Continue reading

Glee: Season 3, Episode 12 – Heart

Love is in the air! In fact, the air in the writer’s room at the Glee studios is thick with love. Maybe it is because it is a Valentine’s Day Episode. Or it could be that every character is getting married. Maybe it was the overturning of Prop 8 in California that has all the love juice flowing. Either way, we should probably check in with the writers to see how this week’s episode is shaping up. Continue reading