Just when I thought I had seen it all…and by “it,” I mean all the previously graduated cast members, I remember that baby mama Quinn Fabray had not yet been back to Lima, Ohio. It seems that a decade of nightly drinking may have damaged my short term memory more than I had hoped. Oh well, onward and forward, to this Thanksgiving reunion episode of Glee.
Tonight, we opened with not just one song, but a mash-up of “Home” and “Homeward Bound.” The singers were all previous Glee members who appear to have been hopelessly haunting the halls of their high school. Some state they are “in college” or “going to ballet school” or “happy,” but since I never see it, I cannot believe it. Do you ever want to show the spin offs of these characters as you did with Kurt and Rachel?
Woh, what’s with the softball question? I thought surely you’d ask why this Thanksgiving episode had literally nothing to do with the holiday, but OK. It seems like you might be using sarcasm to make light of the fact that a bunch of creepy ex-seniors are just wandering the halls of their old high school at any hour of the day. Wasn’t it nice to see how fantastically out of touch Quinn still is? We haven’t really intended to do spin-offs per se, as much as we intended to reuse sets because that is cheap. And hey, it was a little fun and nostalgic to see the old gang at Breadstix. I kind of miss the black guy. Say, whatever happened to him?
Let’s stay in Lima for a bit to discuss Sectionals. Yes, it is that time of year, where we get to hear from the competition around McKinley High School. It seems that every year, a new, slightly offensive Glee Club is added to the mix. For example:
- Season 1: The Jane Addams Academy for troubled female youth
- Season 2: The Hipsters: a groups composed of senior citizens
- Season 3: The Unitards: a good group with an awful name
What other suggestions were there before you chose The Mennonites this season?
Vocal Adrenaline and Aural Intensity. Ha ha ha I have no idea who those are either. Remember when the “pre-Sectionals ritual” involved everyone hugging it out in a circle just before going on stage, and totally not at all involved them yelling at each other and not rehearsing the songs? We were going to have Lindsay Lohan guest judge, and the slightly offensive third glee club were going to be recovering meth addicts, but then someone remembered we already had Lindsay do a cameo last year. That’s why we seemed to have wasted a fun cameo guest judge opportunity, and the Mennonites were a last-minute addition.
Was it the intention of the director to make the Dalton Academy Warblers look like mini-rapist? On set, does he actually tell the actors to look directly into the camera and make a face that says “Sure, I will watch your drink while you go to the bathroom…wink…oh wait did I just say wink?”
Your question reminds me of the argument I got in with another writer. She was saying it might look really messed up to have an argument between Rachel and Brody that mentioned nothing of the ethical implications of a teacher sleeping with her student. I was like, “you crazy, bitch.” And then we fired her. Oh….good times. Wait, what was your question? Oh yes, something about misogyny Frankly I see nothing wrong with sexualizing teenage males to the point of discomfort for everyone involved. Besides, Darren Criss is getting old in the tooth, and in case there was any question as to Ryan Murphy’s casting motivations for Rider and Jake (because it ain’t their rhythm, amiright), well…let’s just say the carpet matches the knife in the drawer, if you know what I mean.
OK now you are honestly creeping me out. Where did you find this image? Is this being recorded?
Enough about the losers in Ohio, let’s spend some time talking about the losers in NYC. Why would an adult, successful rich woman spend her Thanksgiving with two 18-year olds? Don’t give me that bullshit about Gore Vidal. No self-respecting person would travel to Bushwick on the MTA on a Holiday. Also, “Gangam Style” was featured in this episode. While I am glad that Tina Cohen-Chang get to sing, was there discussion about how racist it would seem to choose the Chinese girl to sing a Korean song? Pan-Asian much, Glee?
Right after I recovered from the speechlessness that accompanied my final reading of the amazing and correctly pronounced Gagnam Style performance (seriously, re-watch it on iTunesTubeBook), I was like, “hey everyone, we got this SJP lady in for another couple of episodes, what should we do with her?” And as it turns out someone had left the TV on TBS, whereSex and the City is playing on repeat nonstop, but like the version without swearing or nudity that totally sucks. So I was like, “hey, let’s just drop some Carrie Bradshow REALNESS, mmkay?” And since everyone is terrified of me they copied half an old SATC script verbatim, cranked up the Photoshop airbrushing computer Parker outlines in her rider, and we went to town on what must have been Glee’s most realistic depiction of no-nothing dorky kids with shit jobs and no friends living in a totally not impossibly large loft in a part of Brooklyn no one actually goes to ever for any reason.
Okay, so let’s talk about the Scissor Sisters. First, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart that you had Sarah Jessica Parker take on the task of Ana Matronic and did not give that role to Rachel Berry. Lea Michele, with her spray tan and bangs does not have the homosensuality to pull that off. Did you have to explain to SJP how to “kiki?”
Well first someone had to explain to me that Scissor Sisters broke up, and then I was like, “idiot, you’re fired.” We all laughed uncontrollably, and that person later killed himself or something, I dunno. “Let’s Have a Kiki” is actually kind of not a current nor popular song, and regardless it’s past its prime and yet has gained a smidgen of notice mostly through blog mentions and shared word of its fun video, which is to say it’s complete in Glee’s wheelhouse. I wish I could say we consciously decided not to give the lead here to Lea Michelle, but the truth is that SJP had it in her contract that she’d sing at least one song. Since this song is mostly just saying words in a monotone voice, we knew she’d not totally screw it up. And besides, SJP is kind of awesome. At the end of that scene, didn’t you just want to put all disbeliefs aside and imagine yourself as a scruffy New Yorker who stumbled upon this quirky amazing night to remember with your fancy boss and her drag queen bohemian fashionista friends?