American Horror Story: Asylum, Episode 3 – Nor’easter’

MJ: OK in all seriousness, the Adam Levine cameo on this week’s American Horror Story: Asylum lasted way longer than I thought it would or could. He just kept coming back. Die already! Incidentally this is how I feel about Maroon 5. (Side note: Did you catch Mark Conseulos’ cameo?)

BS: Yes, sometimes they come back…again. Mark Consuelos is actually on the credits, which leads me to believe that his role will get bigger. I for one am excited about that!

BS: What do you make of the Scream-esque change-up that they pulled with Bloody Face/the Bloody Face masked teenagers who killed Adam Levine? (Bloody Face Masked Teenagers Who Killed Adam Levine is also the name of my punk band. Our hits include “Moves Like Dagger” and “She will be Shoved.”)

MJ: Um, well it perhaps reminds me more of season 1’s nurse murder impersonators. Remember them? I’d say the masked teenagers’ masks were a little too elaborate. Also, is Blood Face wearing a mask, and if so does he need to continually remake it?

MJ: Zachary Quinto needs to watch it. And I mean watch it girl. At any moment I expect Scary Sister to have him committed for some reason.

BS: There is definitely way more to his story, but I’m thinking Scary Sister is going to get herself committed if she keeps tossing back the Communion wine and waxing poetic about that girl she killed, “in the gloaming.”

MJ: Good point. Also, these loaves of bread are way over-kneaded. So much angsty kneading. Not a question, just saying.

MJ: I love how Rape Doctor thinks the most pressing matter with regard to the weird alien implant is, “who sent you here?” and not, “holy crap how does this tiny metal device perfectly emulate an insect!?!”

BS: Which of course makes you think that he has seen similar things before, but where? Also, the doctor is terrifying. (But also, how ridiculously unsubtle was the smearing of lipstick on the Virgin Mary? Chill out man, go feed your creatures and relax.)

MJ: Agreed on all counts. Now let’s discuss Little Sister. She’s transitioned from simpleton henchwoman to devilish inhuman monster. Did I miss an episode? Maybe Rape Doctor experimented on her off screen. I predict she is going to die soon. I kind of love her.

BS: At the end of the last episode, when the possessed kid died, the demon left his body and went into hers. I hope they keep her around to wreak more havoc before killing her off. Who will the demon possess next!? Also, this show would have us believe that in the 1960s simply being Mexican was apparently enough reason to commit someone.

MJ: I assume like everyone else, she  killed her family, and her title as “The Mexican” is just racist laziness on everyone’s part.

MJ: Last season the house itself was the source of evil. What’s it this season? Is there some unseen force pushing these characters towards destruction? Maybe it’s Jesus.

BS: My guess is either aliens or communists, or a mixture of the two.

MJ: Wait, how was the little girl whom Scary Sister ran over missing for six days if she was left on the road? No one drove on that road for a week, apparently.

BS: She must have gotten rid of the body somehow?

MJ: By aliens? I would like to believe that Jessica Lange gets blackout drunk after a bottle of red wine, I really do. But let’s get real. Also, is she the only star of this season? Name another star. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but I don’t need everything to be about her.

BS: I agree–where is the star power? We need more back story on a number of the characters, and she is eating up all the time.

BS: Ok, here’s my question. What the hell are the creatures? They are certainly humanoid, but look a little Bloody Face-esque. Are they people that the doctor has operated on? Or, are they his own creations, much like the baby-pig monsters of season 1?

MJ: I definitely think they are creations of the doctor, and they started out human.

BS: Did Scary Sister see an alien?

MJ: Really unclear.

BS: Also, I had to look up the song “Dominique” that they keep playing in the asylum, and it is by The Singing Nun! A subtle Mad Men style reference it is not, but still very interesting!

MJ: Excellent detective work, but now I must have you committed!

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