Glee is still on the air! That means it is time for us to once again sit down with an anonymous producer for the show to get some inside information. Where is the show going? Who are all these people? How many overweight black females are there really? Onward for answers!!
Thanks for sitting down with me today. Tell me, how amazing it is to work with Kate Hudson?
Thanks again for having me. Mrs. Hudson is pretty amazing, to be blunt. Now that we have so obviously exhausted both the lexicon of classic American musicals but also our brain cells (like for example, including a Silence of the Lambs reference where obviously no characters in this generation would understand it), it’s all we can do but to throw shitty performance after shitty performance onscreen. So Kate Hudson provides a small but at least extant chance to see professionalism. I mean, did you hear Rider singing? His voice is literally the sound of shitting a frog, and he dances super faggy. Look for him to get hooked on meth for sweeps.
In this episode, the Gleeks tackle some weight issues. Was it hard to write dialogue about bulimia and female identity while simultaneously writing fat jokes for Finn/Sue? I guess, the real question is, does anyone read the whole script before filming to make sure it is not one dichotomous joke?
Ah ha ha ha ha. You so crazy. I think I wanna have your baby plotline that we drop two seasons later. We definitely needed a bulimia plot line. What’s left! Glee is all about opposites. Every time we have a storyline about disabled people we also need to talk about the football team. And so on. So in an episode with such egregious male shirtlessness, we needed to cram in the gravy clowns. Did you notice how unrealistic the lunch lady’s makeup was? That was totally her idea. See what we have to deal with? I’m surprised you didn’t comment on the scene where Rider shows up in the women’s restroom (somehow?) to pull Marley out of her pukey rut. We reused this exact character development (women who are put down by others can only feel better about themselves through the acceptance of a man) from the infamous domestic abuse episode from last season. Nothing but great messages here.
I will counter with: Mike Chang? Is he in college? He is in college.
There seem to be so many characters that I honestly get confused by who is still a high school student in the Glee Club. Is there any chance we can kill some of these tweens off the show?
You’re confused? Look at us! So…I’m guessing our inclusion of the “Shut up no one cares why Santana is in town!” line didn’t cut it for you. Honestly, it was news to me that Mercedes is in school at UCLA. But to answer your question, yes we are going to have a jetBlue cosponsored very special episode where Kurt and Rachel die in a plane crash.
Does Ryan Murphy remember that Kurt has a job? Also, when will it be revealed that both Kurt and Rachel are pimping each other for extra clothing money? If that is not a thing yet, can it please be thing soon?
We have only so many episodes on contract for Sarah Jessica Parker, so that answers your first question. As to your second question, no this is a family friendly show about trannies and teen mothers and suicide and drug use and so on. Oh wait…you are actually brilliant. Hold on let me get my pen.
P.S. Will you please stop throwing bricks through our office windows with notes reading “No contact, even in song?”