This week of Glee is all about Britney Spears. You remember her, right? She was famous once and several seasons ago, Glee paid her tribute. Apparently, unbeknownst to us at BTYM, Britney has enough songs to warrant a SECOND tribute. After dusting off some sad, old songs and hyping some new, awful ones, we sat down with a production insider to answer some of our burning questions.
BTYM: First, thank you for focusing on Brittany S. Pierce again. But can I ask why we have to subject the world to more Britney Spears?
Thank you for your questions. It’s always nice to get the chance to explain my work on what I feel is the most important show on television. Though we had of course exhausted a great number of iconic Britney songs a little while ago, it eventually became abundantly clear that there was so, so much more to exploit. You see, the real Britney was going to be contemporaneously appearing on The X-Factor, so we wanted to capitalize on her resurgence before she was found drowned in her own vomit. And, just to be completely fair, there are more songs in her autotuned lexicon than can fit in a single episode. It was a natural choice.
BTYM: I happen to love Tina Cohen Chang. From her fake stutter to her Goth outfits. I was a little alarmed to see her dressed like a common street whore this episode. Can you elaborate on the development of Tina through this season?
Well, that is an interesting question considering we have not developed Tina’s character for at least the past season. I mean, I think she is dating Other Asian? [A fellow writer indicates Harry Shum is not on the show anymore.] Oh she’s not? OK, well I’m sure we had an episode about North Korea or the Fukashima reactor or some other relevant plotline. I mean, remember when we did that episode about Tina hitting her head and dreaming about being the star of a musical number? Isn’t that enough. [That is enough.]
BTYM: There is a romance brewing between fat-mom girl (Marley?) and Puck’s half-brother (Jake?). Is it a waste of air-time to focus so much energy on two new characters? Does America care about these random people?
Well, no, I don’t believe America yet cares about Marley or Jake. But ask yourself, who does America care about? Is it Blaine? Is it Arty? We basically were forced to introduce new, young, likeable upstarts this season. Otherwise what was there to go on? We inexplicably axed Lauren Zises [for no reason] and Sunshine Corazon [for no reason], and let’s not forget Lepracahn Boy [for obvious reasons]. Glee is in some ways a prime time soap opera. Don’t expect any more or any less.
Actually, yes. I’m so impressed you noticed. That injection molded thing in the first musical number is a sort of crutch/rifle/bat’leth that is used in choreography to stand in as a weapon. It’s harmless yet functional. And it was full of cocaine.
BTYM: Rachel Berry is a stubby, jew-mess of a character. How does one write her as “sexy” without coming across as pathetic?
There is literally no way to do so. No matter how scantily we clad Lea Michelle, two things always stand out: her gonzo nose and her flaccid bone structure. Rachel Barry, a supermodel does not make. Which is not to say she can’t be sexy! Which is not to say she can’t be sexy? Oh…oops. Well, she has bangs. I will tell you that. And she totally was in “Spring Awakening.” That was a thing.
BTYM: I noticed that the credits still include all the original cast, and this week we were reunited with Puck and Santana. Will there be more surprise appearances, or have the former members of Glee moved on to bigger and better things?
Well first of all no one has moved on to anything bigger, much less better, but yes we will see nearly every single former cast member reappear. It is part of Ryan’s tentacle-like grip on the talent that they need to stay tied to this project. For example, we are currently filming a segment where Finn Skypes with Rachel before being decapitated by an IED minutes later. It’s part of the Christmas episode.
BTYM: Do the writer’s find it hard to write Brittany so much? The small, one liners she spouted in the early years were tiny pearls of brilliance. Are you afraid too much of her will ruin the character?
On the contrary, our goal is to ruin Brittany. When we realize a character resonates, our only logical next task is to make her fans alienate her. We tried doing this earlier by turning her into a lezzie, but that didn’t stick (much as it never does), so we had to go further this season by making her a loser dropout.