Thank goodness it’s a team challenge this week, because there’s less to critique! We still have just way too many contestants. There are over a dozen. How is this possible? The team challenges on Project Runway are usually enjoyable, and in what must be a first, the producers gave up the usual trope of the not-at-all-shocking twist. “Oh, these two people have to make more than one look? So surprising!”
Is it a little strange, though, that not a single male former contestant was included in the group of people to design for? Granted choosing all women levels the playing field, but it would have been interesting to see.
Lastly, we have yet another lame product tie-in. This time it’s Lexus, providing “color inspiration,” AKA the only six colors they paint cars with. “Lexus” is mentioned numerous times. Gag.
On to Loves It/Hates It!
MJ: Dislikes it. This one was a toss-up for me. On the one hand it’s super boring, but it’s also age-appropriate and fits well. There is something interesting about the back opening. Otherwise, I see nothing of interest. Fucking Lexus and its “color inspiration” dolled out black to this duo. Black is not a color! Who wears black to the Emmy’s?
DM: Hates it. It’s so Tim Burton, but not in a fantastic, but just a dark, sad way. She looks like a school marm.
GC: Loves it. It looks pretty amazing considering all the arguing those too did, they obviously wanted to do more, but they came off with something that looks age appropriate and modern. It could be worn on a variety of ages, if not a variety of shapes. Laura is decently happy, but you know she could have made it 20 times better in half the time and while pregnant for the 34th time.
MJ: Dislikes it? Again, it’s pretty plain, and Lexus is doing us no favors color-wise, but I like the tailoring. I don’t find the slit too high. It makes Anya’s boobs look super ginormous, and she seems to like the look. It’s definitely pretty, but is it Emmy’s? It’s more like what the guest judge would wear on a cruise’s Dancing With the Stars knock-off performance on Wednesday night, somewhere between Cape Canaveral and the Bahamas. We can all agree how awful Christopher is, right? I don’t think he’s a bad designer, but he’s just bad. At 24 you just don’t have the maturity to come off as anything but bratty when you complain like he does.
DM: Hates it. Wait no, this is the worst neckline ever created. This is the most “Basketball Wives” dress, but somehow with absolutely no sex appeal. And I love that they comment on Anya’s pageant slit, when she actually is a pageant girl… And why WAS Andrea laughing?
GC: Hates it. Everything is brown. The idea of the back is nice, but she looks so brown. Brown. Brown. Leg Spilt. Brown Brown. Stud. The model said she likes the pop of skin, so why the hell did they give her the leg and the back out?
MJ: Dislikes it. It’s very Kenley, and she obviously likes it. The tailoring is of course great, owing to apparently Ven’s influence. It’s a dress that I could see the client wearing, and it looks expensive. Yet, is it evening wear for the Emmy’s? No. It’s a pretty blue dress. It is not a gown. I would even go so far as to say that if it’s a dress that Kenley feels herself in, it can’t possibly be appropriately adult and sophisticated. I’m not dissing Kenley. I actually really like her. But this doesn’t fit the challenge.
DM: Hates it. I’m sorry, she does not look young and fresh. She looks like a mother of the bride. Is it well structured, yes, but it’s getting old Ven. And it’s only episode 3.
GC: Hates to love it on principal. Because I dislike Kenley so much, but it’s a really nice dress. I would wear it, though if I had the opportunity to go to the Emmy’s I would want something nicer and sexier, so I could seduce Alcide from True Blood.
MJ: Loves it! When April first walks out from behind the curtain onto the runway, we get a glimpse of her signature scowl. This dress is the fabric personification of that scowl. It says, “yes, I’m wearing an all silver 3/4 sleeve backwards dress with a featureless bust, and yes my hair is pinkish purple…fuck off.” The fabric is beautiful. She walks so well. It looks like they didn’t do any sewing, yet I believe it was probably difficult to make.
DM: Loves it. My favorite of the episode. It’s liquid conservative sex. Hmm. That actually sounds gross, but this dress is perfect with April’s hair and style.
GC: Likes it. I think Katniss Everdeen is going to wear this on the next Hunger Games. April actually looks like a model, so this dress is easy for her to pull off. Thank god they got that silk charmuse to work. Otherwise, kiss of death.
MJ: Hates it. Ugh. Awful. What are we supposed to be interested in? Was their color black or red? We have yet another sad dark off-the-rack dress masquerading as a high fashion evening gown. Would anyone seriously show up at the Emmy’s in this? Mila is clearly not impressed. They should have made a pantsuit and called it a night.
DM: Hates it. Worst neckline ever created. Boring. And it makes Mila witchier than she already naturally tends to look.
GC: Hates it. She is such a rocker, and they made her look like a bag with a red belt. And those bangs with the horse phony pony. She is clearly unhappy. I had high hopes for the menswear team with a rocker muse, but alas, they failed.
MJ: Likes it. So Irina was the winner of the controversial Los Angeles season of PR, the one right after it jumped from Bravo to Lifetime. I remember hating her the most. She’s uptight, dour, and boring. Even when her dress ends up in the top two, you can tell during the judging she was hoping to criticize the designers. I feel like Gunnar and Kooan could have had an interesting chemistry if they hadn’t been saddled with this Kardashi-ain’t client. Still, I don’t dislike the dress, notably the neckline. It wouldn’t be on the “Best Dressed” list, but it definitely isn’t the worst.
DM: Loves it. It is sleek and beautiful. Yes we’ve seen it before. Oh and Kooan is just so freaking adorable. It’s too bad he wasn’t given any other client who wouldn’t have been such a bitch about his sometimes zany aesthetic.
GC: Meh. Why was this dress in the top? Calvin Klein did this a while ago and it looked better. All the judges talked about was the necklace, and that was from the accessory wall. I don’t like the long chiffon tails either. All I could think about was that zipper bubble butt.
MJ: Loves it. I definitely feel like I’ve seen this before, and it isn’t on trend, but it’s easily the most red carpet-ready look. Admit it, you did a double-take because you weren’t sure if Valerie (who was on this show???) was replaced at the last-minute by a low tier diva singer. The fabric is eye-catching. The subtle grey fabrics here and there are nice. My only complaint would be that it’s maybe more Grammy’s than Emmy’s. You could see Heidi eyeing this for her own closet.
DM: Loves it. I mean come one. We know how I feel about sparkles. And it made her feel super special wearing it.
GC: Likes it just fine. The model had curves and has gained weight since she was last on Project Runway. It would work on a variety of shapes. It’s nothing amazing, but it’s flattering.