I’m so glad there isn’t a lame pre-episode where they cut a bunch of people this time around. I am, however, not glad about all the branding. The contestants all seem sufficiently odd and sound bitey. Freegans and white dreads and what have you. There is a fun moment when Tim Gunn walks in to ask how everyone is doing and they all collectively groan, “ohargyahboouhyahblah, ” in unison. Sponsored by Brother. Also, I love that Lauren Graham was a guest judge. Gilmore Girls for the win.
Let’s talk about the final looks, in classic Loves It/Hates it style…
P.S. These are images of the first looks. For the second looks click on the link above.
MJ: Likes it . The first one is, you know, very well put together and ready I guess. Second look, and maybe it’s just my tv, but it just was all too nice and pink with no details.
DM: Loves it. But I don’t want to because he’s so obnoxiously cocky. And in a quiet, sociopath type way… His aesthetic is very simple, beautiful and elegant and obviously he can tailor impeccably. I can’t imagine how much work went into that top.
GC: I love the 1st look, though it’s a skinny girl look. Or maybe a rich Devil Wear Prada Meryl Streep Country club grandma with a plastic surgery face. I like idea of the 2nd. He clearly needed more time to sew. I would wear it to church. If I ever went.
Beatrice – OUT
MJ: Hates it. I don’t love the pattern cover in the first look. It is super boring. The second look also continues the boring trend. It’s like did she just go to the mall and buy a bunch of random clothes? I have no idea why she is on Project Runway.
DM: Hates it. I don’t understand. There’s really nothing interesting here. I feel like I could find this in Wal-Mart and it still wouldn’t look as cheap.
GC: I love the henley dress. I think I own something similar by Ralph Lauren. The southwestern poncho makes it look even more of a Ralph Lauren copy, but from his 1988 line. Do I even need to say anything about the 2nd look? No, but I will say that skirt looks like a teddy bear was jaggedly torn apart and then sewn badly. What is that hemline? Goodbye.
MJ: Dislikes it. I actually don’t hate the first look. The balls scattered around are actually not terrible, and I don’t know why, but I think it’s a little bit pretty. The second look however is trash, and I have no idea once again why this person is on this show. This is a hot mess.
DM: Hates it. Oh dear lawd..when craft projects go wrong… There’s too much fabric, not enough color and poor taste.
GC: I like the 1st. It says rich and modern country club but fun. It’s right up my alley. I love the fabric, and it looks great on the model. I do prefer it with the little jacket on. That neckline. It just becomes her one note. I like the first look, hate the 2nd one. It looks like the ugly stepchild to #1. It’s badly sewn and unflattering. That snakeskin was just slapped on.
MJ: Hates it. The first look, yes it is sleek in black and white, but other than that I’m not sure why it matters. The second look is ridiculous. The model seems like she can’t even contain her own smirk.
DM: Likes it. While it isn’t my aesthetic, at least it is a definite understandable aesthetic. Makes me think of old-school prison stripes meets a Handmaiden’s Tale, yet she somehow makes those very restricted aesthetics seem whimsical and free.
GC: The 1st one looks like it belongs on Helena Bonaham Carter in a Tim Burton movie about demon candy canes. The look is sewn well, but it’s just trying too hard. It would be perfect in CandyDoom a new movie about a Mar’s Bar that has been torn apart and then reanimated. The 2nd = MUSHROOM BUTT. “How flattering, I will hide my large ass with a bird cage with horizontal stripes.” It’s trying to be young and cute, but no one can actually wear that thing. It’s like a lantern at a BBQ.
Christopher – WINNER
MJ: Likes it. The first look is OK I guess. The second is most definitely better, and I like the fabric. But there is still something weird about the fit. It’s like does he just have a really small breasted model? Or is he really bad at fitting?
DM: Likes it. Not sure how he pulled off a win. While is maybe my favorite designer personality-wise, I actually think the black mini is quite boring, and the zipper is just completely effed! I do feel less animosity toward the gown, because I was very intrigued/impressed with the design, I just wish it had been a different color…?
GC: The first is a simple short black dress. The seaming is really detailed, and I like the idea, but it’s a little too much skin. Zipper Bubble Bump. I think he has potential, he just needs to think of women of all shapes. I really like the 2nd look. I wish it were on a model with hips. How hot would this look on Joan from Mad Men? So hot. On this model it looks like the paper bag princess.
MJ: Hates it. I want to like her. I really do. I like her braids. I hate her clothes. The first look is utterly forgettable. The second look has some of the color blocking but is otherwise completely stupid. I have no idea, once again why I am watching her on television.
DM: Loves it. She designs for a really cool girl. These are silhouettes that are interesting but not so crazy that you would wonder if she forgot to take her meds. I love the Williamsburg Ninja hooded look!
GC: I like the color and the idea of the 1st look, I just wish it weren’t a knicker length jumpsuit. It would be so hard to pull off unless you are a rail. Maybe a skirt would be better, same length, with just a little movement, then it would be a cute henley with a hood. The back is a little like a genie pooped in his Aladdin pants. The 2nd looks like something I would have put together my freshman year of college off the irregulars rack at Marshall’s, but not in a good way. A cheap way. Again, a Genie poop. I do like the back of the blouse, perhaps if the front were solid and the back had the paneling as a surprise.
MJ: Loves it. I really like Elena. I like both looks. I like how structured everything is. I like how black everything is. I like how Elena does not fucking care. Is totally shows in her designs.
DM: Likes it. I am so weirdly drawn to the black coat. I can’t decide if she’s a prisoner or a prison guard. The white and black dress makes me uncomfortable. The wings make her look cobra-like and the gloves, oh the gloves. Something about this piece gives me the willies.
GC: The 1st is the evil step queen look in CandyDoom Castle. I want to paint E.T.’s eyes onto the boobs. Or Wall-E’s girlfriend. It’s very spaceship, but she can sew. I hate the manta-ray fins on the arms. The 2nd is very high fashion. I personally would never wear it, but maybe I wish that I could. My ass would look like a box, though. The looks complement each other very well.
MJ: Likes it. I have no complaints about these looks. They are well constructed and shiny. There is just not anything particularly interesting about them.
DM: Hates it. Honestly my least favorite of the episode. It’s just too shiny. It’s what hookers wear when they are trying to be sophisticated.
GC: It looks like something a teen would buy at the mall — it’s not horrible, but it looks cheap. There is nothing more to really say. I do like her weird leopard hair.
MJ: Likes it. The two looks are polished but still none the less fairly forgettable. The first look is definitely well made. I just really have no opinion at this point.
DM: Likes it. I actually LOVE the gown. I think more women should sport shoulder pads, and god knows I love sparkle. I feel less love toward the mini, but it’s mostly that I am not a huge fan of cut-outs. It’s very rare that they don’t just make an otherwise nice piece just straight up trashy.
GC: The 1st is super sexy, conservative, fun, and sparkly. I love it; it could be worn on many age groups.The sheer waist is amazing. And the man can sew. He is one to watch for. This might be my favorite look. I get where he was going on the 2nd look, and I guess for the most part it’s pretty fantastic, though it’s a bit 80s. Start doing those side bends and sit-ups, cause that muffin might be poking out of that keyhole.
MJ: OMG loves it. I just love everything about this. Neither look looks anything like the other one, but I don’t care. The first one is so crazy; it has so many insane colors, I just really like it. The second one is like what future Olympic uniforms should be.
DM: Likes it. I think we as American’s have a hard time understanding his Harajuku aesthetic, but I love it! I would never wear this stuff, but I am so happy that there is someone out there who will. I really don’t understand the silver bathcoat thing he made, though. And what are the silly dots on the models foreheads..? At least the whole thing makes me smile.
GC: Well I will say this, he has his own aesthetic. Its not me, but it might be for a Japanese teen. I like the 2nd one a little bit better. Its more ready-to-wear. I am curious to see what he would create in a more structured challenge. Also…Is that a Japanese man with a perm? Love it.
MJ: Likes it. These two dresses seem like the most sellable looks, but at the same time that also means they’re maybe more boring than the other ones. I like that he took a style choice and went with it.
DM: Dislikes it. He is quickly becoming my least favorite designer personality-wise. I like the dress, but we’ve seen it before, and that skirt is hideous. It’s a good thing he knows his clientele is old ladies, because blind old ladies are the only ones who might think that skirt was attractive.
GC: I hate this 1st look. It looks like the Fifth Element, which came out 15 years ago. It’s just bad. The 2nd looks like the preacher’s daughter’s outfit that she wears before she puts on look 1. It’s all dated. Nothing more to say.
MJ: Dislikes it. I’m not really sure what the two dresses have in common, although I don’t hate the first one. It’s maybe a Statue of Liberty dress? The second one is just a generic flowing gown. Why do I care about any of this?
DM: Likes it. I’m just not wowed. Pretty.
MJ: Loves it. I feel like both of these looks are ones that I would seriously see on the streets of New York, but I wouldn’t necessarily think of them as looks you could buy it. They seem like things that are beyond this season and ahead of what I would see in the store. I like that there are separates. And I like that the models seem realistic. Over all these seem like the best runway looks for a huge crowd of people in time square.
DM: Hates it. Though I like her…? But those pants and that jacket don’t make any sense together. And is that a leather bow?? And what’s doing on with that dress? Can anyone make that green color look good?
MJ: Hates it. I mean maybe I would appreciate the drama? If these weren’t so amazingly boring.
DM: Loves it. I want it all. Very chic. I hope to see some color in her aesthetic as the season goes on, though…
GC: I like both of these looks a lot. They are both dark and glamourous and a little dangerous. She has potential, but she might be a one-noter.
MJ: Likes it. I don’t love the jumpsuit first look; there is nothing about it that makes me interested. The second look is a little bit confusing. I think from far away it’s fairly boring and simple, but it’s nice what he did with the texture of the flowers. Overall, I would say I would like to see more.
DM: Hates it. Who is he designing for? You couldn’t wear that dress anywhere except to a furry convention… And the pantsuit, while nicely tailored is boring.
GC: Isn’t it bad enough I have to look at your Spock bangs, you have to put them on the models as well? The 1st look is okay. Is that a nude VS bra under the shirt? If you want the bra out, pick a good one. I like the blouse, but the pants would look really bad on a woman with hips. I like the 2nd one. It looks like cotton candy. Maybe Gaga would wear it if it were made of hundreds of furry caterpillars.
MJ: Hates it. I really do feel like I have seen both of these garments before, and he is contributing nothing new. I also want him to choke on an avocado pit and dies.
DM: Likes it. On the runway I was completely underwhelmed. But when I go back and look at the stills, I can imagine myself buying these pieces, because they are basic with a twist. I really love the little striped top he created for the challenge.
GC: The 1st looks like something a Fregan would design. I like both pieces a lot, just not together. The skirt needs a black tank, and the top needs a black cigarette pant. I like the 2nd too. I think he has real potential in the art girl market. They are all simple pieces. They look nice. I would like to see more before I make a call.