True Blood: Season 5, Episode 2 – Authority Always Wins

Can anyone ever be happy on True Blood? And when do they ever sleep? A commenter on last week’s post accurately pointed out that the seasons seem to transpire over the course of maybe 6 days. 6 days of misery. This episode takes place on the night of the day that was portrayed in the previous episode. Temporal anomalies aside, I’m growing tired of just how segmented the side plots are. There is little interaction between the characters.

When watching True Blood, you have to ask yourself: Are you tripping balls?

If Alcide has a shirt on he can get the fuck away. And I do not care about Snoopy (the dog shifter guy). Both need to be plenty more aggressive. Or heroic. Or something? Nice dialogue, though: “She just lost her son.” “She just ATE her son.”

Tripping Balls?

No, these characters are neutered.

The redneck vampire gun store was…amazing. Everything from the silver mister to the shop keep’s dirty thoughts to the Russell Eddington t-shirts…it’s all perfect.

Tripping Balls?


Pam is the only consistently funny and enjoyable character. Finally, we see some of her backstory. I always felt a little bad for her, especially when her skin was cursed. Her first interaction with Eric was sweet if not [obviously] bloody.

Tripping Balls?

No, it was one of the few expository elements in the episode.  

I’m glad Tara has, um, a new storyline? Why is she so aggressive? When Jessica was turned, she wasn’t batshit crazy. Sure, she had more confidence and I guess ate some people, but she still knew who her family was. Nope. This is Tara, and Tara must suffer in both life and death. They don’t even bother cleaning the blood off her head. Such a fun show to watch!

Tripping Balls?

The sight of Tara running around crazy, being silvered by her best friend and brother, and finally telling them she’d never forgive them. You bet I’m tripping balls!

So the writers have decided to make Terry crazy. I don’t remember this being hinted at earlier, at least not this explicitly. Weren’t they haunted by a ghost like two days ago? Do the fires have any sort of otherworldly element? Is Terry a Satan spawn? Does their military buddy start fires? Someone is pyrokinetic, right?

Tripping Balls?

Yet again, there is little of interest here to merit a ball being tripped. I’m hoping some sort of fire-based evil will rise from this.

I ask again: does anyone care about the Authority side plot? Sure, the tidbits of vampire technology (blood sensors, UV torture lights, etc.) are fun. But Bill’s well-being? He can roast for all I care. It was boring enough when he was tied up in Sookie’s adventures, but now the camera is following him around solo? Given the screen time this side story received, I’m assuming we are going to see much MUCH more of it. Blah. The interrogator scene — revealing that some vampires believe god made THEM, not humans, in his image — was the only redeeming element. In a close second was the inclusion of the small child vampire. Although, wait, what are Bill and Eric supposedly hiding? That they killed Nan because she found out Sookie was a faerie? That they are against “mainstreaming?” Sigh, I miss Nan.

Tripping Balls?

Ehhh…I’m gonna give this to them. Sure, it was beyond boring for the first several scenes, but eventually we get to the epic confrontation with Chris Meloni. So yah, tripping balls has occurred!

Jason Stackhouse. Oh, you so crazy. He’s so lovably dopey but more or less has it heart in the right place. When a heretofore unknown teenage boy barges into the sherif’s office to punch him out for sleeping with his married mom, he proclaims “I don’t know any Sharons!” The kid shows him a cell phone photo of his mom, and Jason replies, “oh, CRAZY Sharon.” Jessica’s negotiation and subsequent fight with Reverend (what’s his face) was beyond brilliant. It gave me a fang boner. Well, I don’t have fangs, but you know what I mean. “Idiots! You’re boring me. Now go back to your human lives before I eat you!” Maybe the best way to end a scene? Oh, and more Hoyt Fortenberry. Make this happen, writers!

Tripping Balls?

Jason’s sober and has turned his life around, but everyone around him is tripping balls!


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