As the season finale of Once Upon a Time approaches, the convoluted tale of cursed fairy tale characters is begging to reach a boiling point. Well, maybe not boiling, but it is definitely getting a low simmer.
In The Now Time of Storybrooke
With Regina feeling threatened, she decides to enlist the help of the Mad Hatter Jefferson to use his raggedy old hat to open a portal back into the magical world they left behind. But how? Storybrooke does not have “the magic.” Well, it works, though not well enough to put a whole person through, but the hat-portal opens enough to take something from the old world into the new. Don’t you know, Mayor Regina chooses a poison apple? She very deftly decides to bake an apple turnover and nonchalantly give it to Emma. Let’s just see how that plays out…
In the Before Magical Lands
I always seem to start this section with “Remember when?” and this review is no exception. Remember when Snow and Charming met and fell in love, but then Charming was betrothed to someone else? Yadda yadda yadda (seriously, just watch the episode), Charming is abducted by the Evil Queen. A ragtag group of the more famous characters band together to rescue him. When the plan fails, Snow sacrifices herself and eats the poison apple.
So, this episode, entitled “An Apple Red as Blood,” is primarily about the actual cursed/magical apple.
Note: “Guide the Hat”
Translation: I don’t think that any young actor, studying hard at NYU or Julliard ever thought they would utter the words “Guide the Hat” or “Get me the Apple.” Sure, this is a relatively entertaining show, but some of the dialogue is so awful that I do not know how the actors can do it with a straight face.
Translation: Getting Prince Charming back from….whoever the hell abducted him this episode…requires a frontal assault with Dwarfs and an aerial assault from those tiny flying fairies. The scene is very militaristic, but acted out it is just ridiculous. Female Fairies in full ball gowns carrying bags of dust to take out dozens of knights. Dwarfs with pick axes and beards slaughtering highly trained guards. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.