Once Upon a Time: Episode 21

As the season finale of Once Upon a Time approaches, the convoluted tale of cursed fairy tale characters is begging to reach a boiling point. Well, maybe not boiling, but it is definitely getting a low simmer.

Misguided analogies aside, the episode focused on the growing tensions between the townspeople (fairy tale characters) and the Mayor (The Evil Queen). Let’s do a quick breakdown of the two intertwining plots before we point out the overall ridiculousness of this show.

In The Now Time of Storybrooke

Regina is haunted by the thought of her adopted son Henry being taken by his birth mom Emma. In fact, Emma does try to kidnap Henry, but at the last minute, comes back to Storybrooke to see if she can work things out.

With Regina feeling threatened, she decides to enlist the help of the Mad Hatter Jefferson to use his raggedy old hat to open a portal back into the magical world they left behind. But how? Storybrooke does not have “the magic.” Well, it works, though not well enough to put a whole person through, but the hat-portal opens enough to take something from the old world into the new. Don’t you know, Mayor Regina chooses a poison apple? She very deftly decides to bake an apple turnover and nonchalantly give it to Emma. Let’s just see how that plays out…

In the Before Magical Lands

I always seem to start this section with “Remember when?” and this review is no exception. Remember when Snow and Charming met and fell in love, but then Charming was betrothed to someone else? Yadda yadda yadda (seriously, just watch the episode), Charming is abducted by the Evil Queen. A ragtag group of the more famous characters band together to rescue him. When the plan fails, Snow sacrifices herself and eats the poison apple.

Notes

So, this episode, entitled “An Apple Red as Blood,” is primarily about the actual cursed/magical apple.

As with the previous few episodes, there are some really stupid things about this episode that I need to discuss. I take notes and often, the bitter scribbles are more entertaining than the actual plot. So here it goes.

Note: “Guide the Hat”

Translation: I don’t think that any young actor, studying hard at NYU or Julliard ever thought they would utter the words “Guide the Hat” or “Get me the Apple.” Sure, this is a relatively entertaining show, but some of the dialogue is so awful that I do not know how the actors can do it with a straight face.

Note: Fairy Assault?

Translation: Getting Prince Charming back from….whoever the hell abducted him this episode…requires a frontal assault with Dwarfs and an aerial assault from those tiny flying fairies. The scene is very militaristic, but acted out it is just ridiculous. Female Fairies in full ball gowns carrying bags of dust to take out dozens of knights. Dwarfs with pick axes and beards slaughtering highly trained guards. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.

Note: Poison Apple Turnover

Translation: The Evil Queen is best known for apple-based assaults. Logically, if I was then approached by the Evil Queen, the main thing I would avoid in her presence is apples. Why then, would Emma accept any apple-laden pastry from the Evil Queen? Since it took quite a lot of effort to get that apple back from the Before Time, all Emma needed to do was throw the pastry directly in the trash and walk away.
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