SNL: Eli Manning / Rhianna

There are few things in this world that I truly enjoy, and one of them is when Saturday Night Live has a non-actor as a host. This can come in the form of a musician, or newscaster or, most commonly, an athlete.

These non-actors are often brilliant for 3 main reasons.

  1. The athlete is not formally trained in comedy so they will do pretty much anything they think might be funny. This usually includes cross-dressing, over-the-top catch phrases and self-deprecating humor.
  2. The athlete is rarely seen in a non-sport situation where they are not like a kid at camp. Or a kid in a candy store. To be on SNL is to fulfill a life long dream. This causes sheer, unadulterated joy.
  3. Because of the first two reasons, the expectations of the audience are dramatically lowered, so anything short of a train-wreck is a win.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, I am glad that Eli Manning was hosting SNL with musical guest Rhianna. I assumed Manning would follow in the footsteps of his older brother and be an adequate, lively host willing to play the fool. Eli was actually pretty funny, I laughed out loud, and as I have stated in previous reviews, the cast “breaking” to laugh is a good sign that they themselves are enjoying the antics. Okay, enough about my love of non-actors, let’s get down to the best and the worst of the night!

Must Watch

The Fox and Friends Cold Open.  I think the SNL writers have been reading my reviews. No longer are they showing the Mitt Romney robot, the Rick Santorum douche bag or the Newt Gingrich moon base. While still being political, the vehicle of Fox and Friends allows for more satire. Since my only knowledge of F&F comes from clips shown on The Daily Show I must say, this sketch capture the conservative, uneducated bias I have come to accept of the Fox Network. That being said, make sure you pause your clip/DVR/Hulu for the redaction/corrections at the end of the sketch for such gems as ” Hail consists of frozen water: It is not made of sins” and “Mormons breathe air.”
The Amazon Commercial. Finally, someone else has acknowledged that Amazon is the best place to buy adult gadgets. Although I have not read Fifty Shades of Grey, I am aware that it is a Seattle-based novel with very graphic sex scenes…because it was mentioned on NPR…or something. Anyway, masturbation is funny, so check this out.
What is This? — Game Show. A very simple game show where contestants are shown a picture and have to tell “What is this.” All fun and games until the “what is this” question is posed to relationships. Truly awkward and strange, so watch it and tell me if I am just projecting my own insecurities, or if this is actually enjoyable television.
The Witness Stand. What if your alibi to a crime was something truly embarrassing. And not regular, “I fell on the sidewalk and my ego was bruised,” embarrassing, but “I sexted strange, desperate booty calls,” embarrassing. Imagine if your phone and email conversations became State’s Evidence. Yeah, think about that, and tell me if Eli Manning does not do an amazing job in this sketch.
EA Sports Motion Capture. Okay, this sketch is not the best, but it was saved from elimination because of two big events. First: In the first true host-sketch of the show, Eli was brilliant. He had amazing comic timing and no shame in performing ridiculous motions in a spandex suit. Second: his straight men (Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader) were laughing the whole time. This sketch is truly ridiculous. I do not know much about football (which makes me a good human being), but this sketch does not require a knowledge of any MVPs to enjoy it.

Holy Crap, DO NOT WATCH (but I will provide the link anyway to prove how right I am)

Helga Lately. I thought this was a true waste of time. I very much enjoy anyone who makes fun of the slut-puppy antics of Chelsea Handler, but the Swedish version of Chelsea Lately was convoluted and dumbed down. Garbled fake-Swedish mixed in with obvious funny words (vagina, vodka, penis, New York, anus, etc) was clumsy and pedestrian. Would it be so hard to just openly mock Chelsea Handler? I mean, why did it have to be in Swedish?
Turner Classic Movies. Under the premise that Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong were actually part of a trio with straight-laced Richard, this sketch explores famous scenes with the three actors and talks about how Richard was eventually written out of the group. Meh. No thank you. It was kind of awful and poked fun at Mormonism, and anyone who chooses to not violate Federal and State laws. Try again, Seth Meyers.
Ms. Drag World. Oh, you had better RuPaulogize for this travesty of a sketch. Do not, NBC, try to usurp the market on Drag Queen Fierceness. Do not have a few of your more attractive male actors get prettied-up in gowns and try to sell some Diva Realness. Eli was the only funny part of this sketch, and it seemed to be written exclusively to find a reason to put a footballer in a dress. Nope. You are no Willam. So stop it.
Weekend Update. I hope Seth Meyers gets AIDS. Full. Blown. AIDS. He needs to stop reading the news and focus on the interviewing of characters like “The Tanning Jersey Mom” and “Sasha Baron Cohen.” When Meyers is left alone on camera it makes me yearn for the zombie apocalypse just so I know he will have his meager brains devoured by a horde of the un-dead. Too much? Fuck you.

Now for the Musical Guest.

I did not pay much attention to Rhianna at first. I was desperately hoping for a third installment of the “Shy Ronnie” franchise, but alas. I turn away for one second (to get another glass of wine) and when I get back to the TV, Rhianna is kind of slapping her own crotch. I am sure men and lesbians the world over were thrilled with that, but I found it kind of trashy. As with most of her songs, Rhianna chose to sing about love and making sweet/rough/hard intercourse with her two songs “Cake/Talk that Talk” and “Where Have You Been.”  Since this is her third time on the show, I can only assume the staff and Lorne Michaels gave her more leeway with the set design. It was like a Lady Gaga Concert exploded on her musical numbers.
All in all, not a bad night.

One thought on “SNL: Eli Manning / Rhianna

  1. […] (Photo: Bythatyoumean) […]

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