Shahs of Sunset: Episode 5

Hello again, Shahs. I would like to start by saying I really hope this show is not all about GG and Reza. Oh…that is all this show is about…the weak high school drama of two highly unlikable characters. Cool.

So here we are, at week five, and the cast of Shahs of Sunset seems to have dwindled by two. Mike was once again conspicuously absent from this episode. Sammy was present for about 30 seconds to hand over a pair of earrings to belatedly celebrate MJ’s birthday. Otherwise, the plot of this episode revolved around GG being a crazy bitch who contemplates anger management and Reza taking a trip to visit his “estranged” father in New York.


Platinum Moments

After a dramatic “girls night out,” Asa brings a friend and artist who drops some truth. After GG goes postal, Asa stands by her friend and tells GG that she is “mean” and “rude.” From Asa’s lips to Satan’s ears.

Gold-Plated Moments

Ugh, Asa has some awful style. She decides to bring GG (a daddy’s wallet diva) on a shopping spree at her favorite vintage clothing store. Sorry, Asa, but your sense of style is disgusting. And that is coming from me, Chel….err. Funnynurse, who loves Spanx and empire waists and Old Navy. Asa has one HUGE booty, and at one point in the show it shows GG trying to stuff Asa like a Christmas turkey. Gross.


Platinum Moments

Responding to GG’s confrontational attacks with accusatory yet apologetic words. Work it MJ, way to stir the shit and cause drama while not getting the blame. Watch out, fag-hag, your day is coming.

Gold-Plated Moments

While visiting NY with Reza you cause some shit at the Jewish side of the family. MJ…you just strike me as uncomfortable and awkward at all times. You are never dressed correctly and are always saying stupid things. While GG is obvious at being the center of attention, you MJ, seem to implant yourself like cancer into any situation to make things worse. While GG is awful, you are, in hindsight, the worst. Kill Yourself.


Platinum Moments

Oh, GG, you have no good moments. Since we have met your sister and have determined that your parents are not to blame for your craziness, there is nothing that redeems you this episode. Also, come to grips now that Shahs of Sunset has made sure that no one of any value will take you as a wife. Have fun with your daddy’s credit card and your spinster life, because you are unlovable.

Gold-Plated Moments

Ugh, just one? GG, you yell so much while at dinner that several people at your table would rather flee than talk to you. Everyone who has the misfortune of being out at the same restaurant as GG looks so disgusted at the displays of childish catty anger, and that it is priceless. As with the Vegas Trips, I hope that anyone within a 20 yard radius of GG got a free meal. I secretly hope that lawsuits and comped meals make Bravo bankrupt.


Platinum Moments

Telling your 97-year-old grandmother that she is a bitch…behind her back. Sure, she was edited to look sour and mean and awful, BUT she also hates Muslims and hates gays. Something tells me the devil is going to dread the day this bitch dies. SECOND BUT, Reza does a relatively good job of ignoring the outright edit-heavy hatred that is coming from his grandmother and does not let it ruin the reunion with his father.

Gold-Plated Moments

STOP CRYING. Sweet Jesus, we get it, the producers told you to break down, but my god, no one that turns all hot-mess, sobbing and talking about Jew/Muslim issues is likable. So, stop crying. Your father said he loves you. There are red-necks in the south that have never heard those words from another man’s mouth so SHUT UP REZA, your family is more supportive and loving than most. Stop using Shahs of Sunset as a way to make yourself look like a victim.


So, another episode down, and only one more to go. Next week is the season finale (only 6 episodes) but honestly, I think this show has slammed in more drama and poor judgement in six episodes than The Amazing Race can muster in 15. So Yeah, I am kind of looking forward to the end of this whole Persian FiascoUntil then, let’s see if this show can amount to more than screaming angry queens.


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