Shahs of Sunset: Episode 2

It’s Reza’s birthday, bitches!!!

This flaming mustachioed diva is not going to celebrate his 40th birthday with any old party. Okay, truth be told, Reza’s age is not actually told so I am just assuming based on his face.

Anyway, Reza and the whole hairy gang all get together in Las Vegas to ring in his birthday with style. Persian Style. The day starts off with a fancy limo-bus ride to the airport where a private plane takes the group to the Aria hotel’s top penthouse. Much eating and drinking ensues, along with clubbing and dancing and more drinking. I hope the Aria hotel comped the other hotel guess that weekend because these Shahs of Sunset probably ruined their vacations. With the fighting and screaming and scream-fighting and fight-screaming and battles over whose outfit was more exclusive, these characters have continued to prove they are classless and sad human beings.

MJ

Platinum Moments:

Her dressing gowns are to die for. Not just for 1950’s house-wives anymore, these glamorous robes make me a little envious. Sure, the fact that she was wearing it while being sprayed in the shower or dumped into the bathtub make her less classy, but still, what nice robes.

She gets the quote of the episode — “I think we are going to some club, Mist or Sweat…or Roofie or Amnesia” The actual club is called Haze, but still, kind of hilarious.

Waking up after an epic amount of drinking looking glam and clean. My hero.

Gold-Plated Moments:

Oh honey, you are about three episodes away from a cross-promotional Intervention special. You are on national/international TV. Please, hide your crazy binge drinking from the dozens of camera men.

After seeming relatively normal last episode, you have proved to be the Snookie of Shahs. No one wants to be called the Snookie of anything. You were drunk this entire episode, started stripping off clothes and puking in a swank Vegas Club (after puking, she covered her pile with a pillow and kept dancing). Ew. Kill Yourself.

GG

Platinum Moments:

She does know how to look good. Even for an overnight trip to Vegas she brings her personal stylist to help her choose dresses.

When planning a booty call with an old flame, she says “Chris is where you go for an oil change when your tank is running dry.” Gross.

Gold-Plated Moments:

GG is a stone-cold bitch. She uses every situation as an excuse for attention. She lives to be the center of attention  and when she is not, GG will make a scene, start a fight or just walk away and pout. Grow up, little girl. You are too old for this behavior.

Starting a fight with the birthday boy about why he ordered Cristal when GG only drinks Dom Pérignon. Reza made the point that GG is so fake he could pee in a glass of seltzer water, and if he called it Dom, GG would drink it.

She makes some ugly, ugly faces in this episode. When she is bored or unimpressed, she shows it. SNATCH FACE

Asa

Platinum Moments:

When she babysits a drunk MJ, it shows a very altruistic and nice side of Asa. Though, of all the spoiled brats on the trip, Asa is the most likely person to help a drunk friend so she only gets half credit.

Gold-Plated Moments:

When describing her style, her friends call her “Persian Punky Brewster.” She has a truly original sense of style–large gold necklaces, huge eyebrows, elaborate earrings, dramatic eye-makeup and smeared lipstick–all paired with a frilly dress and numerous accessories.

Asa is so boring compared to her over-the-top female counterparts, but I am not so sure that is a bad thing.

Sammy

He has no moments. He is utterly forgettable. Sammy may as well be an extra.

Reza

Platinum Moments:

He is a hard-core pimp. From drinking out of a gold-lined pimp cup to paying for his friend’s trip to Vegas, he even sprang for a personal butler. Nice, Reza.

Gold-Plated Moments:

Reza gets a call from his father on his Birthday. His dad asks when he is coming to visit, inquires about Reza’s birthday plans and even ends the conversation with an, “I love you.” Reza then says how his father is estranged. Reza needs a dictionary.

Mike

Platinum Moments:

In the previous episode, Mike would not shut up about having lived in Las Vegas. Well, it seems that all the talk was not for nothing. He knows everyone in Vegas. Free bottles of bubbly, entrance into all the clubs.

Gold-Plated Moments:

Mike is a muscle-man, a juice-head. He is more Jersey Shore than any of the others. Mike has no sense of style, often wearing a tight white t-shirt to show off his muscles.

He sprays his genitals with cologne. A lot. he has done it several times so far this series. I do not understand the logic…is he trying to cover some sweaty/vinegary/cheesy dick smell? Or does Mike think perfume dick will be enticing to women? Have you ever accidentally sprayed perfume in your mouth…it does not taste nice. Work on that, Mike.

—–

This show is not good TV. It is actually pretty awful TV. I find it so sad when a bunch of 35-year-olds are so childish and immature. I believe I have said it before…no one who is self-actualized and happy with their life wants to be on a Bravo reality show. Since it seems like these losers have enough money, the only reason they would subject themselves to the media scrutiny is because they want to be famous. I am imagining Mike is going to parlay this into some kind of real estate Million Dollar Listing type show. GG is going to make her own shoe line. MJ is going to make clothes for dogs. Reza is going to be in the next Queer Eye franchise. Asa is going to launch her record label. Sammy is going to be on The Biggest Loser.

All of these pathetic characters have happened before, and all of them will happen again.  If watching the degradation of society is your thing, then you should probably keep watching. If you want to retain some of your dignity, then go make some tea and read a book.

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2 thoughts on “Shahs of Sunset: Episode 2

  1. […] this episode was less exciting than last week’s Vegas free-for-all, but it was still entertaining. And that is all this show is, sickening, base, entertainment. With […]

  2. Jerch says:

    For what ever reason I can find only the second episode of this masterwork online, so I’m starting here. This show is beyond unwatchable. I have attempted to watch the second episode already twice, and I didn’t finish it. I am such a sucker for terrible reality TV, so I will continue on. Shahs of Sunset has a few things going for it: they all appear to be insanely rich (a winning but surprisingly rare formula, as expertly enacted on this show’s distant cousin The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), and they are not vapid white women. My list of requirements is low, yes. OK, gonna try and finish the episode. Third time’s a charm!

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