I unfortunately already knew the ending this week, based on search terms that brought various people to this very site. First world problems, I know. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more nonplussed with the state of things on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and the Drag-o-Meter is naturally going to accurately reflect this. It’s a sour day in Dragtona Beach. Apparently, though, y’all still wanted to know what the Meter registers this episode. Before we begin, let us all have a moment of silence.
- There is a missed opportunity during the weekly “She Male” segment for a good vs. evil twin look, but Ru overlooked this.
- I’m confused why Phi Phi continually defaults to that awful falsetto. Does it sound on key in her head? Her explanation leaves me with more questions than answers: “Well I’m an angel, so I wanna portray it like a Disney character.”
- What is the random show tunes song in the main challenge?
- Willam yaks on what are probably very expensive theatrical lights. Yikes.
- Inexplicably, there is no Pit Crew. You might have missed it, but I sure didn’t!
- Jiggly’s goodbye lipstick messages on the mirror are verbose, scrawling, and slightly illegible. No one takes the time to read them.
- I mean I MUST have missed something between episodes wherein Sharon and Willam started disliking each other. What happened gurl?
- The seasonal live singing twist rears its ugly head again this week, but thankfully it’s pretty minimal component. Still, this infrequently goes well.
- Chad and DiDa are probably the closest in appearance, and I wonder if they could have played with that sameness more somehow. Maybe a young/old or black/white dichotomy? Perhaps obvious, yes, but maybe there could be something in that inherent simultaneity.
- The “night club” in which the contestants perform is sponsored by NIX Cosmetics, for no apparent reason. The “night club” ends up being the normal runway, and I noticed no mention of — much less logical reason for — the brand.
- So let’s talk about Willam. On the day of the runway he walks in and seems very distracted and low in energy. I’ll say this somewhat carries into the actual performance, somewhat. It’s not explained, though he says it has nothing to do with “this,” presumably meaning the show. Whatever it is, it seems sad. I haven’t spoiled the reunion special by looking online for his real-life explanation, though I imagine it’s being held back for ratings regardless. Whatever it is, it seems sad. Maybe the real Willam will give us a hint? I’m leaning towards parasitic/evil twin growing inside.
- What is going on with Pamela Anderson’s makeup? Does she think she’s an actual drag queen?
- Sharon and Phi Phi’s in-song jabs were bordering on mean more than funny. It was mildly boring, and as Sharon points out, not their usual drag. The same could be said for the challenge as a whole.
- The Sharon/Phi Phi pairing seems like it go either really horribly or really well, right? They smartly decide to play up the real-life rivalry, incorporating even the infamous “Party City” fight.
- So the Latrice/Willam combo. It’s obviously the most jarring. I don’t know what the origin of it was, but there appears to be real animosity between them. Their rehearsal actually goes pretty well, all things considered. In the reality television editing songbook, though, we’re led to believe that they will in fact be in the bottom two. Twist!
- Pamela Anderson randomly blurts out that this show is better than America’s Got Talent. Not that I’m disputing her (although I’ve never watched it, but…OK? She seems to not realize that she’s A) famous or B) a judge on this show. She admits to being tone-deaf on the only episode of the season where the girls are required to sing.
- Hmm, without the halo and horns, are Phi Phi and Sharon’s outfits actually reading as angel and devil? I think maybe not.
- Michelle hilariously thinks Phi Phi and Sharon were too nice. Yah…that was their problem!
- Sharon and Phi Phi practice singing into what appear to be BIC disposable razors.
- At long last, it’s time for Pamela Anderson to judge a challenge! I was so excited after seeing the promos, since she is basically already a huge drag queen.
- Latrice and Willam’s performance is slow, but they hit their marks and are funny. I think they made the most out of it. Plus, they’re both very sexy in their final reveals.
- Chad and Dida clearly are the worst singers, but they had the most energy. I laughed at, if nothing else, the hamming. It sort of had nothing to do with the song, but that’s OK as long as it’s entertaining.
- So The Weather Girls and RuPaul have apparently recorded a duet version of “It’s Raining Men.” I wonder if they will do a duet with other artists? Like, can that be a Bat Mitzvah gift? The girls (Sharon and Phi Phi) lip sync it up admirably, and we haven’t seen either Phi Phi or Sharon dance, come to think of it. Both were excellent. Sharon’s yellow teeth were put to great use, as were Phi Phi’s joints.
- The lie detector test segment is just amazing beyond all belief. Where to start? Well, I LOVE the random straight guy operating the computer, ostensibly providing legitimacy to the truth/false readings. I LOVE the repeated question, “If contestant’s name were the last ladyboy on earth, would you kiki with her?” Ru’s reactions are, as always, amazing: “InterESTing…” “FasCINating…” “Do you like my line of Iron Fist (TM) shoes?” All contestants of course answer positively to that last one. Loves it. She ends with, “I will supply the FBI with a copy of your transcripts.” The result is a pairing off of the remaining 6 queens into 3 groups of 2, each apparently having the least in common with the other, which is yet another clever paradigm. It is, however, odd that no actual drag is involved.
- Lucien continues the tradition of being a collaborator of Ru in real-life that also happens to be gorgeous. Go figure! He doesn’t say anything funny, but his reactions to the horrendous singing really make the rehearsal segment watchable.
- Ru’s runway look this week is easily her best this season and one of my favorite in recent memory. Good job.
- Willam and Latrice win, justly! Their prize is a brazier, of course.
Drag-o-Meter Special Rating 6/5: The Night the Lights Went Out in Dragtona
- It’s not at all explained what “rules” Willam broke. Being too pretty and thin? Ugh. Words cannot describe how little I care about this show going forward. Ru obviously knew what the problem was going into the main challenge. All we are told is that the rules are meant to keep the competition fair. Did it have anything to do with the puking? Maybe Willam was taking drag performance-enhancing drugs. She leaves a lipstick butt-print on the goodbye mirror. Toodles, gentle soldier.
Sharon Needles absolutely stole the quote-generator show this week. Other than Ru, I barely noticed any of the judges. Did Ru highlight Latrice’s size with a mountain-related pun? If so I missed it. Sharon more than made up for that.
- “So, just fake it. You know, like I’m always doing.” -Ru
- “I wouldn’t consider Phi Phi a frenemy; I’d consider her an enemy.” -Sharon
- “Choreography we’re working on real hard; I’m WHITE gurl.” -Sharon
- “When I first met Willam I was not featuring her at all.” -Latrice explaining everything about Willam yet at the same time nothing at all
- “Don’t Christina it out.” -Sharon to Phi Phi, which is followed quickly by a clip of Sharon impersonating Christina doing a vocal run, pointing her finger up and down
- “I’m getting to like Phi Phi a little more. Now it’s upgraded to just hate.” -Sharon
- “You look gorgeous.” “This old thing?” -Pamela Anderson and Ru
- “Do you think this outfit compromised your Christianity?” “Jesus is a biscuit, and he sopped me up.” -Ru and Latrice
- “The microphone was a bit close. It looked like she was going to swallow it.” “Now is that a bad thing?” -Pamela Anderson and Ru
Because Willam both won and lost, the points she gained were obviously detracted. Team As the Day is Long is up only 20 points this week, which is respectably, but I need to reshuffle regardless. I haven’t decided it. Maybe Phi Phi, Latrice, and Sharon? As Chad retreats into the shadows, I’m thinking he can’t possibly win. DiDa’s gotta be going next week, right? Well, we’ll see!