Once Upon a Time: Episode 16

“Heart of Darkness” was the title of this week’s episode. “What the fuck does that mean,” you might ask yourself? Well it means that part-time nun, Mary Margaret, is being framed for MURDER! A heart in a box, loss of time, true love’s kiss, oh honey, this week you get it all. Law and Order: SFU (Special Fairy Unit).

Okay, so in the Before Time (you know, fairy tale land) Snow White is losing her mind. This is when the timeline gets a little fuzzy. Forget last week when Snow was chasing wolves. Instead, think about a few episodes ago when Snow decided she needed to move on, forget Charming and take some Rumpelstiltskin potion. Apparently, Snow wanted the potion to take away her love of Charming…but…JOKES, it actually takes away her ability to love anything. The dwarfs even decide to stage an intervention worthy of A&E. Alas, the only thing that can save Snow is true love’s kiss, Or true love’s arrow. Or whatever. Rumpley and Jiminy Cricket show up again, song birds get swatted, and werewolves turn out to be awesome allies.

In Storybrooke, Mary Margaret has been arrested for the murder of her lover’s wife. The wife (Catherine) is deemed dead when her heart is found in Mary’s jewelry box. It’s a Heart in a Box (sing to the tune of Dick in a Box). Anywho…Modern Day Rumpelstitskin shows up to defend Mary because apparently he is a lawyer.

More interestingly, Jiminy Cricket (Dr. Hopper, Psychologist) works with John/Charming and uncovers some lost memories. This is actually a really cool scene because FINALLY it shows the convergence of the past and the present. When using hypnotherapy with John, the memories uncovered are actually memories of Charming and Snow back in the Before Time. Well played, writers. Once again, I begrudgingly give you kudos for mind-raping the plot.

So how do I feel about this episode? Hm. Not bad? Not great? This episode was made for one purpose — to move along the plots in  both the before and present story lines. The Snow/Mary and John/Charming romance is the thing that started the evil curse in the first place, so I guess it is appropriate that it consumes the whole show. I do have some comments for the rest of the cast because I feel things are getting a little convoluted.

Little Red Riding Hood: Appears to be best friends with Snow. Since now the whole world appears to know that she is actually a wolf, Red has truly embraced her animal side. Indeed, last episode Red was horrified to find out she was a werewolf…but NOW she helps the young couple by slaughtering a half-dozen knights and their horses. Luckily it seems that there is a full moon pretty consistently in Fairy Tale Land.

Dr. Hopper/Jiminy Cricket: This character is so minor that I have already forgotten the backstory the writers made for him. I mean, I vaguely remember there being an actual episode about him, but I had to read my own re-cap to refresh my memory…something about Jiminy not wanting to be a criminal, turning people into dolls, and then a fairy turns him into a cricket. I also believe that after some dramatic events in that episode, Jiminy was starting to believe in the evil curse. Will he help Charming and Snow? Will his character be interesting at all? Only time will tell.

Emma/Lost Baby of Destiny: Um, other than her ability to distinguish lies, she is boring me as a character. Kick things up a notch. Throw down with the mayor/Queen more. What happened to the stealthy, bad-ass Bail Bondswoman seen in the first episode. Granted, Emma seems pretty smart, but I still want a little more badassitude.

Writer guy: As far as I remember/care, this guy doesn’t have a fairy tale backstory, but his name is Booth. He just rolled up into town and is supposed to be writing. So far, he is just meddling, but I want to see more of him, because since the Sheriff was killed, we need some hot men on this show.

Henry: He is the whole reason Emma came to Storybrooke. He is still dramatically mentally ill, and yet he is rarely in any episodes. Someone needs to abduct him or kill him. In this episode, he worked with Emma to help her investigate Catherine’s murder and used his book to crack some clues. I kind of want to see more of this kid. And see more ties with his mystery Fairy Tale Book and the real world.

Okay, well, that is about all I have for this week. After the teaser trailer I saw next week featuring the Mad Hatter (who is not a goddamn Fairy Tale character, thank you very much Lewis Carroll), I am kind of really looking forward to the entertaining hot mess that is Once Upon a Time.

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One thought on “Once Upon a Time: Episode 16

  1. Anonymous says:

    i lov u jared ahhhhhhhhhhh hes sooooo cute

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