Once Upon a Time: Episode 14

Imagine a town in Maine that consisted of a bunch of fairy tale characters with modern stories. That about sums up the plot of Once Upon a Time.

This week, we are once again learning the back-stories of the town folk…one by one, episode by episode we are slowly figuring out the entangled lives of these fairy creatures.  Wonderfully, this time, the focus is on Grumpy, you know, one of the seven dwarfs.

In fact, we learn quite a bit about dwarfs this episode. So many things about dwarfs I though that it would be good to highlight a few of my own personal questions that were answered. I feel so enlightened.

Where do dwarfs come from? Did you know that dwarfs actually come from eggs? In fact, there are no female dwarfs and somehow, the eggs get fertilized to hatch more dwarfs. Male dwarfs have no interest in love or sex and are specifically bred to be miners. I guess this is why Snow White was never gang raped. Thanks, ABC, that question has been nagging me for almost 20years.  The scene where the dwarfs hatch from eggs kind of reminds me of the scene in Lord of the Rings where the orcs hatch from those sacs…only less good.

Why do the seven dwarfs have such crappy name? Do you know how Dwarfs get their names? Apparently, when a dwarf touches his mining ax, there is some kind of magic that causes the handle of the ax to display his name. You may think that something more creative or fantastical would happen once the dwarf was egg-free, but you would be wrong. Nope, he just grabs an ax.

With all the mining, do you know what the dwarfs are mining for? If you said, “fairy dust” then you would be correct. Yup. Little dwarfs are hatched from eggs to go live underground and mine fairy dust. Big chunks of it. Tons of chunks of fairy dust that is then doled out to fairies to go flit around Never Never Land. Or something.

Where do fairies come from? Well, that is actually not explained, but you do learn that they tend to live or hang out in clouds. Apparently there are whole groups of fairies in the clouds. Apprentice fairies, old fairies (pun!), big, small, smart, short; all types of fairies. In the clouds. Something about this seemed a little “angel-y” to me, but whatever. My fantasy characters do not need to be mutually exclusive.

Are Tinkerbell and Fairy Godmothers the same kind of fairy? According to Once Upon a Time writers, they are. Fairies, after their apprenticeship…or whatever, they get to choose a path. What really annoys me about this, is the bullshit story is that there is actually fantastic lore about fairies. Pagan Deities, sprites of the dead, sprites and protectors. Fairies are kind of awesome. So, you ruined it, ABC.

This episode was not the greatest (in terms on moving along the plot) but was a lot of fun (when talking about being inventive with fairy tales).  For all the questions answered about dwarfs, the episode brought more questions about…well…everything else.

The “modern-time” stories sucked this week.

Remember how Snow White cheated with Prince Charming? To redeem herself, Snow was supposed to use some kind of Nun mining festival to sell candles. Does the summary make it sound really boring? Well, then I nailed it.

Is Snow supposed to be a nun? This is a question I have had in the past, maybe the school in which Snow works is a Catholic run school. We learn that there are nuns in Storybrooke, and several times throughout the episode, Mary Margaret/Snow White is called “sister”, but this is explained away as politeness. Ugh. I am not sure why this bother me so much, but it does.

Why does Ms. Swan seem to have some strange ability to tell lies and the truth? This magical power has been mentioned in several episodes, but what the hell? Emma Swan can just look at someone and…know. She did it with her son, the Hansel and Gretel kids, and probably every adult in Storybrooke so far. It is not really a thing, and it is irritating me. So, stop it.

Once again, I am anticipating next week’s episode only because at this point, it is part of my weekly routine. It makes me wonder if this is what all producers hope for —  add the mystery and back stories to bait the audience but then they slowly switch all the good parts with crap hoping that people won’t stop watching out of habit. Then, well played Once Upon a Time…here I am again.


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