Glee: Season 3, Episode 14 – Someone, Something…Dies

We’ve finally reached the “winter finale” — whatever that means — of Glee’s middling third season. Also known as, the Regionals competition episode wherein the New Directions face off against two teams (neither of which will be allowed to sing as many songs) one being a comically uncompetitive also ran while the other’s this season’s true nemesis (Warblers). It’s certainly been a season that’s had its ups, but oh boy have their been some downs. It’s not all the writers’ faults, though. As we’ll see in this behind the scenes look at their process, sometimes they come from a place of meaningful experience. We join them now, already in progress…

I’m sorry, I couldn’t concentrate through your enormous horse teeth. What were you saying?

Karofsky is maybe our best character. He should get a song. He should also beat up his bullies, since he’s you know, a bully himself. Just kidding, he should kill himself. His bullying arc, I have to say, is one of our more realistic takes on high school.

I have no idea what the song Blaine sings is or is about. Because I was too distracted by this overwrought suicide scene I’m reading. Oh wait he doesn’t die! Great! Let’s omit heavy-handed orchestration and pepper in the editing some tasteful flashbacks.

True story, this happened to a friend of mine in high school. There was an attempted suicide when i was a Resident Advisor (I went to a boarding school). It was at night in the middle of exam week. The RA’s were all told about it early the morning after, and soon the entire school was briefed in the auditorium. Remember, we were living away from home, without our families, and all under 18. Exams were quickly cancelled, although we could voluntarily still take them (it was a nerd boarding school) for practice (which I did). I remember feeling very little emotionally, even though the person who attempted suicide had been a very close friend the year prior. Though she dated a friend until just prior to the attempt, senior year wasn’t a time when we were very close. In fact, she wasn’t very close to many of us, other than her boyfriend (until they broke up, obviously). Late at night — I think it was a Tuesday — she tied a noose around her neck and attached it to a shower stall. Aside from RA’s like myself, the residence halls were staffed by SLI’s (student life instructors) — actual adults who fortuitously were patrolling the halls that night, as they always did. One found my friend while she was barely conscious. Apparently it is hard to hang yourself successfully. She was rushed to a hospital, alive. I heard she slipped into a coma, or they induced a coma. Either way, it was bad. The next day, the day of the all school meeting in the auditorium, we weren’t sure if she was going to survive. She later did, and for all I know went on to live a normal life. She never returned to our school, though, and few of us had any contact with her ever again. I like to imagine she took this as a catastrophic but somehow necessary change in her life. I like to imagine she took time to recover and eventually reinvented herself. Otherwise, it’s obviously depressing to think that there was no point. It was the winter of 2001, and already a few months earlier we had been rocked by September 11th, and once again classes were interrupted by something unimaginable. We eventually moved on, and I still think of that year as the definitively formative time in my adolescence.

So what you’re saying is it’s absurd for a failing television show that thrives on theatricality and hokey themes (which, by the way, seldom include actually entertaining music on a consistent basis) to try and earn credit by writing in a sad, timely, gay suicide story?

Is this show even about music anymore?



Wait, wait. In the New Directions/Trouble Tones extravaganza, who are the random backup dancers? The Cherios?

We should soften Sue Sylvester up in preparation for her obvious eventual departure from this show…dyah I mean McKinley High School.

Should many of these songs have clear references to boozing? None of these kids are 21.

Here’s the deal: We’re excellent when we’re on our game, but when we’re off (every other episode other than the premieres and the finales) this show is abominable. I think our audience thinks, gasp, it should be a niche series on cable with less than 14 episodes a year. It needs to be held back and nurtured. It’s too much and thus not enough at the same time.

Shut up. I’m thinking of throwing in a random fat guy carrying the second place trophy over to the Warblers. It’ll really lighten the mood.

If we have any balls as writers, we won’t write in some trite dialogue between Kurt and Karofsky at the end, in the hospital scene. It shouldn’t have the gist of, “yah this is hard, but it’s gonna be better at some point,” because the kid just hung himself. He tried to end his life. He isn’t ready to hear any of these thing. He’s completely unsure about everything probably. He needs love. He needs someone to love him, and someone for him to love. Don’t people get that? Closeted kids don’t care about their careers or their far-off futures. They care about love. They are so desperate for that realness. It feels impossible to accept anything but love. But it’s out of reach. It’s impossible. Such is the paradox of coming out. Just kidding let’s write in an “it gets better” montage. Fixed!

We missed an opportunity to have Sue in a tuxedo track suit.

Damn, you’re right!

Wait, Rachel already has her wedding dress, despite this being an elopement? Scratch that question. Clearly she’d have a wedding dress since the age of 14.

Rory is a groomsman? He met these people only a few months ago. It’s a wash because…we apparently don’t have an abundance of characters…


6 thoughts on “Glee: Season 3, Episode 14 – Someone, Something…Dies

  1. funnynurse says:

    Never text and drive. I cannot wait for graduation, because I am with you, Jerch, Rachel and Finn need to leave this show.

    And yeah, maybe singing a song about getting high on cough syrup is not hitting the right note after a suicide. And when you are standing on stage at 18 it is not appropriate to sing a song about getting drunk. The lyrics to “Here’s to Us” are ridiculous.
    Just awful song choices all around.

    I do not mind they did a show about suicide, lots of shows do. I am sure there was a “90210” and “Saved by the Bell” about someone offing themselves. It was handled so poorly and the hopeful hand-holding speech with Kurt and Karofsky was so trite and typical. Push the envelope, Glee.

  2. I liked the episode and all the songs that they sang at Regionals. And BTW, Blaine’s song was called ‘Cough Syrup’ and it’s about getting high on cough syrup and getting all trippy 🙂

    • Jerch says:

      Oh, OK. Thank you. The sizzurp? Still, sort of an odd choice of a song. Did we already run out of pronoun-neutral love songs? I didn’t necessarily hate the Regionals songs, but remember how amazing last year’s was? It was sort of the first time the secondary characters took the spotlight, and it was amazing. Trouty Mouth/Quinn…Santana/Brittney/Other Asian. Even the end, “Dog Days of Summer” had the oddly never-used Tina belting out with Mercedes. I just didn’t viscerally feel that way about this episode. However, I will watch it again with an open mind and see if I can feel something more. You’ve inspired me.

    • funnynurse says:

      I absolutely LOVED the mash-up of “Fly” and “I Believe I Can Fly”!! I will say this one consistent thing about this show — the mash-ups are always stellar.

    • Jerch says:

      OK, so I rewatched the episode with an open mind. Below are my second takes.

      “Cough Syrup”
      I stand by my original thoughts. This is an oddly inappropriate song to pair with a suicide. I would have been happier with a melodramatic song. At least then it would be perhaps “obvious” but more importantly not saccharine.
      Definitely not the worst of the night, although I am finding little to like besides the triumphant “stand” rephraigm. I don’t know this song. The choreography is good, and Gay Face mugs it up well.
      “Glad You Came”
      Yikes, way worse. I can’t think of why the Warblers picked this. I know this song even less. I feel like they made it up! Terrible. It’s more obvious than usual that the vocals are prerecorded.
      “Fly / I Believe I Can Fly”
      This is actually pretty good; I was wrong. I like that so many voices get a chance to be featured, particularly Mercedes and Artie. Santana’s rapping is weirdly bad. Oh, here’s the WHITE RAPPING. Must. Stop. Still, the overall message is uplifting and easy to get into. Having done theatrical lighting for 4 years in college, I can confidently say the stage tech is improbably at best. I’ll let that…fly.
      “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”
      OK, this is good. Featuring Mercedes, Santana, and Brittney is great. I’m still confused by the random backup dancers, but it’s not like they sing, so OK. I know I already mentioned it in an earlier comment, but this song reminds me of last year’s Regionals. Lastly, and most importantly, this is the most appropriate song for this episode’s suicide theme. Look up the lyrics. It fits. Do this more!
      “Here’s to Us”
      Here’s where the underage drinking lyrics really got to me. Could Rachel really not come up with another song that wasn’t about doing shots with your friends? I guess the “isn’t life RIGHT NOW great” feeling is the reason it’s in this episode? Ugh. Couldn’t the show’s creators somehow incorporated a song that summed up the season more? Maybe a song about constantly fighting but always coming back together. Or one about moving on. Or something about being underdogs. I just don’t see the characters of Glee sitting around a table at a bar toasting each other. It’s apocryphal.
      “She Walks in Beauty”
      OK so the Oscars started, and I couldn’t relisten to this one.

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