It’s the dueling designers seasonal luggage sportswear challenge! You know, that challenge you totally, um, remember…and love? Oh who cares anymore; Project Runway All Stars is just such an utter disaster, but not in the good way. Much like the post-Santino Rice impersonation of Tim Gunn, it’s an OK caricature of itself. We don’t really know at this point. It’s been only 6 episodes. Usually PR starts off strong, so maybe PRAS is the bizarro-world converse version?
Specifically, where are the quips? The unintentionally self-referential critiques? The bordering-on-Lester-the-molester looks? Almost all of the kookie elements have been stripped out, and we’re left with some pretty decent designers that are kind of also sort of memorable?
Case in point: Jerell accuses Michael of copying him (which he did do), and Michael just dead-pans, “well I looked over your table and copied what you did.” Barely sarcastic. Barely funny. Just sort of, tiny fart. Like Michael tiny farted in Jerell’s workspace, and Jerell was like, “oh well, if you must.” I am only 70% on Jerell’s side because that hair poof is wrong. You’re never going to have me with that hair poof. That is what happened.There is only so much techno music fierce sewing montage that can enliven such television.
But enough of that! What did we think of this week’s looks?
DM: Hates it. Ok, so I’ll be honest, normally I sort of like grandma-chic, but this was just a little too literally grandma. I imagine my great aunt wearing this.
MJ: Likes it. It’s young First Lady realness. I wanna say the pants are…seude? They look comfortable. Something’s gone wrong with the hair, though. I never really think Austin nails the styling, but this look is complete and fun. Maybe too commercial.
DM: Likes it. This is typically my style, easy simple. But this is a design competition and there’s nothing innovative here.
MJ: Hates it. Ugh, so boring. Three color blocks in the most basic possible separates. What is there to say? So, so boring.
DM: Loves it. Very Kenley. It’s cute and confident and it makes me want to get in shape so I could wear it, but not all girls have a body to pull this off…
MJ: Likes it. Too simple, but a nice cut and really fun print. It’s great for this model, incidentally. Very summer too.
DM: Loves it. I actaully liked this look better than Kenley’s. This girl just looks a little more hip than the one in the baby blue romper. I think both the shirt and the shorts are easy Brooklynite/LES summer attire. This girl isn’t trying as hard to stand out than Kenley’s.
MJ: Likes it. For me, it’s a return to form for Mondo, but not his best. It’s his signature mix of prints, relying heavily on black and white. Is that houndstooth I see? Fun in the sense that this is supposedly summer.
DM: Hates it. She’s an easter egg gone wrong. Obviously that jacket is gorgeous, but it’s covering up the shirt that was vomited onto the model. That green is horrible and it’s looks like Frankenstein with the weird baggy stitching. All Rami needed to make this a loves it would be a simpler, differently colored shirt.
MJ: Hates it! Ugh, who is wearing this? A nouveau riche Dubai expat? Actually that sort of makes sense for Rami. It’s just too shiny and pointy and 90s.
DM: Loves it. I like the cape and the color palette. It’s sophisticated. I could have done without the zippers on the pants. I believe the only zipper on pants should be where it actually zips up at the waist…
MJ: Loves it. It’s definitely the palate of like a really nice set of luggage, but somehow Mila can do no wrong for me. I don’t know why I think Kara’s is simple and boring, whilst Mila’s similar color-blocking isn’t…but I like it. It’s more sophisticated and less dated. I even like it with the bag. I feel like I could see this girl at JFK flying coach but wanting to seem first class. I mean it has a cape!
DM: LOVES IT! I want that coat! Where can I get one? And I even love the boyfriend cardigan underneath. This girl is cool, and once I got over my intimidation of her, I’d want to be her best friend.
MJ: Loves it. While I don’t love the fit of the vest-like part, I do love the overall look. With the hair and shoes it says, “yah I know it’s raining, but I look too good to cover with an umbrella.” Is she heading to the MoMA library to research a Twombly? Maybe. She looks good doing it, and she probably comes from money.
DM: Hates it. Or maybe just hates him… he’s so whiny! Every week I want him to get kicked off because I think he’s so annoying. I honestly don’t care what he makes. But about this look in particular, I think it looks like a cheap imitation of something a Karadashian would wear. Speaking of imitation, he totally copied Jerell. I have no idea why he though he could convince anyone otherwise.
MJ: Dislikes it. On the runway, on television, this doesn’t really resemble Jerell’s other than the fact that it’s wool and dark in color. Still, I dislike it for other reasons. Why is it this same vertical depressing stripe pattern? Even the oversized cowlneck repeats the pattern in the same direction. It needs the belt? Otherwise it would literally be just one seamless piece of this boring fabric? What’s that cake with all the tiny layers? 7-layer cake? 15-layer cake? That is this fabric. It looks like it came from Kohl’s.