Project Runway All Stars: Episode 4, Gelato/DVF

What’s with the super-short challenges on Project Runway All Stars? Making it only 6 hours doesn’t make me more interested; it makes me angrier. I’d rather see what these talented designers could do if they had extra time and money, not less. It must be some lame production reason — like maybe the episode can’t spill over into the next day — because they don’t even get to go to Mood.

And speaking of…if it’s a “mini-Mood,” why is there a time limit at all? Why not just let them come and go, since it’s just a stupid room adjacent to the work room?

Lastly, anyone notice how Michael finished his gelato and is always the most excited [apparently] to see the guest judges, be they actually famous (like this week) or not (see, most previous episodes). Does he really need a job or something?

Alas, we don’t have time to discuss such trivial matters. On to the group critique!

Mondo

MJ: Likes it. This wasn’t a loves it because there’s something a little costumey about it. Still, it succeeds in fitting the concept of the challenge yet doing something new and fun. I don’t know where she’d wear this, though. Saint-Tropez?
DM: Loves it. The color is fabulous. The cut is fabulous. She looks like a cantaloupe goddess.
GC: Loves it. I would wear this as well. The colors are perfect for the challenge, it’s very fun. I think this one should have been the winner.

Anthony

MJ: Likes it. The skirt makes it look like the model peed on herself, but the structured abstract green top is really cool. If this is separates, then I could really see that top going with a lot of things — skinny jeans, white short shorts, etc. One last skirt metaphor: it’s a Degas dancer’s skirt. Google it.
DM: Hates it. I actually like the color and the idea, but the sculptured part of the bodice needs to be fitted closer to the body and not protruding out so much. As it is, it’s ridiculous.
GC: Hates it. It looks like a bad dance costume, and the color is hard for most women to pull off.

Kenley

MJ: Likes it. It’s definitely obviously bright and cute, but it’s sort of not Kenley’s aesthetic. I also think the shoes are horrible with it. Still, it looks clean, well made, and not boring…for having only 6 hours.
DM: Loves it. I would totally wear this. The colors and the feeling to the dress remind me of ice cream and summer. And it fits the model beautifully.
GC: Likes it. It’s cute and quirky. Very teen, it looks like something they would wear in Clueless.

Rami

MJ: Hates it. The combination of green and Chartreuse is just so unappealing. I think he imagined the stark black belt and purse would somehow bring everything together, but she just looks a mess. This is probably sold at Bolton’s.
DM: Hates it. Aagh! I’m actually afraid of this. Why are there so many shades of puke green? And polka dots? And the hard black accessories? She looks like some sort of bug.
GC: Hates it. I hate the color, I think the top looks cheap, especially with that belt. And those shoulder cut-outs. Ugh, What was he thinking?

Mila

MJ: Likes it. But I’m watching you. Despite its dependence on color-blocking, I do think the overall look works, but when you look at the details it’s pretty sloppy. What’s going on with the hem? Why are some of the intersections of color blocks jagged and pointy, while others are rounded and smooth? It really looks like it took 6 hours to make, but it’s still not the worst. Again, terrible shoes.
DM: Likes it. I wish the skirt flared out just a little more and the belt would serve better if it were in the same color scheme and a small rope belt.
GC: Loves it. I would totally wear this. You could move from city to surf easily. She nailed the challenge.

Jerell

MJ: Loves it. I don’t remember what his gelato flavor was, but I don’t care because he obviously didn’t think about the challenge at all. I like the print, I like the strappiness up top, and I like the movement. Sure, it’s not the most original thing, but at least it’s not boring like some of the others.
DM: Hates it. Sorry DVF, I know you’re a fashion goddess and your winks are gold and you loved this dress, but that print is hideous. I would expect to see it at that now defunct (I’m assuming) mall store RAVE.
GC: Likes it. Oh Jerell, again good ideas, just way too much, different fabrics, headbands, shoulderbands, beads, panels.

Kara

MJ: Hates it. Holy shit is this terrible on this model. The pregnancy critique is apt. What’s a real shame is that I think the concept of the various layered gelato colors could have actually worked out really well…had Kara figured out how to piece it together into a dress that doesn’t look like the model is hiding an alien parasite.
DM: Hates it. I feel nauseous just looking at this. I’ve made a tampon reference to another dress this season, but this dress looks even more like one. And something is medically wrong with the user…
GC: Hates it. Maternity, Ugly. Ruffles. Enough said. Good Riddance.

Michael (Winner)

MJ: Hates it. While, yes, this looks well constructed, what the fuck is it? It’s an 80’s diva nightie. It’s the Terminator melting into molten iron transformed into a scarf. Plus that shade of pink, what is going on here? It’s like the color of raw chicken.
DM: Likes it. I think the silhouette could have been a little more fitted and sexy, but contrary to the judges, I love this color. I think it’s super sophisticated. However, Michael really annoys me on this show. Sure his designs are good, but he’s just a little too, “Oh little old me, I’m the underdog.” And he’s way too excitable. I think he had a hemorrhage when DVF walked in as the guest judge.
GC:  Loves it. It’s glamorous, chic, and you probably have to be a rich anorexic to wear it, but nonetheless it looks simple and elegant.

April (Eliminated)

MJ: Hates it. Eeeps, the darts! Someone explain those darts! I just can’t get over the strange pointed bust/back lines. This is blueberry? I’m completely lost with this dress.
DM: I feel nothing about it. I like the color, but it is really sloppy and pretty uninspired for April. I’m super bummed she’s gone though. She’s way less annoying and has a much clearer vision than Kara.
GC: Like its. It looks cool, a little like an H&M dress. Her execution was bad, but the concept was cute.

Austin

MJ: Likes it. Meh, there’s nothing I can see that’s so obviously wrong with it, but it’s not incredibly memorable. It’s a really really good costume for an extra in a Greek tragedy, which is to say, “yah, couldn’t make this.” So he gets a pass because I know he can do better.
DM: Loves it. It’s a little vanilla, but considering that was his inspiration, it’s pretty enough.
GC: Loves it. It looks breezy and fancy. I might wear it to a fancy bar in the Bahamas.

Here’s another take on the show, from GC: “Overall, I frankly don’t care about any of them. The challenges are boring and lame ( pick a gelato flavor and be inspired. No, thank you!), the judges are not fun-mean enough, Joanna is no Tim Gunn, and who the fuck is this fake Heidi? NONONO. Most of the looks are merely acceptable.”

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