It’s been a while since we last spoke with By That You Mean’s robo-commenters, and to be perfectly honest we feel really bad. We’ve been neglectful. Everyone deserves a response, even anonymous penis-enlargement spambots from North Korea. So let’s take a look at some of the more colorful comments from the past several weeks.
For the purposes of this installment, let’s imagine a windowless room that is for some reason full of cigar smoke. (Robots smoke, right?) Rows upon rows of identical metal automatons are hunting and pecking their way through mediocre vanity blog after mediocre vanity blog.
“Truth about six pack abs. My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different web address and thought I may as well check things out. truth about six pack abs”
A couple of things: 1) Do married couples commonly browse the internet as a pair, and if so what benefit does that have? 2) Does the wife want six pack abs? I thought women want like, I dunno, some other beverage-metaphor abs. Pinot Grigio abs?, and 3) I’m glad you now know the truth, but what’s the lie about six pack abs?
“If you don�� t know what a hipster is, you might spend some time on this sometimes entertaining website.”
Ouch…burn. Sort of true, though.
“Thanks a lot for sharing this with all people you actually know what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Please additionally visit my web site =). We will have a hyperlink alternate arrangement between us”
Ooh, do tell me about this hyperlink arrangement. Sounds interesting. And thanks for the…compliment…approximately? I’m clicking on the link now, and, yes, these are definitely Home Depot coupons.
“Deference to website author , some good entropy.”
This one’s almost poetic.
“An stimulating word is designer annotate. I guess that you should compose many on this message, it strength not be a preconception topic but mostly fill are not enough to talk on such topics. To the succeeding. Cheers like your American Horror Story: Episode 9 By That You Mean.”
I want to think this robot is a fan of Ryan Murphy’s only good show, but I think it’s more likely just a stock message that’s been passed through a Farsi->French->Inuit->English online translator. Hey, whatever pays the bills.
“check this link, cheap chanel to your friends”
Now this one’s not even trying. Cheap Chanel bags? What do you I look like…hmm, well, I maybe could use a Chanel bag, but gurl I ain’t cheap.
“In this great scheme of things you secure an A+ for effort. Where exactly you misplaced us was first on all the details. You know, it is said, the devil is in the details… And it could not be more correct here. Having said that, permit me reveal to you exactly what did give good results. The authoring is actually really convincing and that is most likely why I am taking the effort in order to opine. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. 2nd, although I can certainly see a leaps in reason you come up with, I am not necessarily convinced of how you appear to connect the ideas which produce the final result. For right now I will, no doubt yield to your position however hope in the foreseeable future you actually link your facts better.The most recognized hosting company on this planet!”
Presented without comment.