Project Runway All Stars: Episode 2

We’re still not super convinced this is a real season of Project Runway, what with the not-quite Heidi doppelganger and the not-quite Tim Gunn wannabe. Still, it’s PR, and we must obey. And by “obey” we mean snarkly rate the designers. Oh, and HP. Gotta mention the HPs. Loves those ThinksFart tablets that HP totally didn’t basically disown last year.

This week’s challenge is to design a romantic couture gown for the opera. Way to connect with your audience, Lifetime! Anyway, let’s rate the looks:

Kenley

MJ = Likes it. It’s very Kenley, but it’s maybe too Barbie for my tastes…or for an opera.
DM = Loves it. It moved beautifully, but it’s a little teen. However socialites all have to be teenagers at some point, and this is the dress I’d want to be in if I was 14 and going to the opera.
GC = Loves it. So far she is not being her normal annoying self, and she created this super cute classy Barbie doll opera dress.

Gordana

MJ = Hates it. I sort of like what’s going on up top, but then as you move downward the beading turns into a dirty fishnet, and then we go full-on mermaid with the sheer leg dart things. Everybody knows you never go full mermaid. Also, what’s with the hair?
DM = Loves it. Old Hollywood Glam.
GC = Hates it. It looks like a Middle Eastern Belly dancer that is going to the prom. The skirt being two-tone. Blegh.

Rami

MJ = Hates it. Ay yay yay, who is wearing this dress?! It’s the dress Eva Mendes wouldn’t want you to see her wearing when she was younger and not yet famous. And the jewelry!
DM = Hates it. I think this design could have been wonderful, but it just looked sloppy and unless a dress that color is perfectly tailored and refined, it just looks like a chewed up piece of bubblegum.
GC = Hates it. It looks like an 80s bridesmaid, and the girl looked thick.

Mila

MJ = Likes it. Meh, if there were a middle ground dress for this challenge, I suppose this is it. I feel nothing. I feel like we’ve seen this numerous times already. So I guess that’s a Dislikes it? It’s not the worst.
DM = Hates it. Snoozefest. But it does fit well.
GC = Loves it. I like the textures and the sheer asymmetrical strap. I do wish it was floor length all the way around.

Sweet P (Loser)

MJ = HATES IT! What is going on with this print? And the straps? It makes the model look pregnant and gassy.
DM = HATES IT! I want to vomit just thinking about this dress. Seriously was the model pregnant? If not, that dress certainly made her look like she was. This dress looks like something a toddler would wear on the beach. The judges made the right call. She should have gone last week.
GC = Oh Sweet P, two weeks in a row that silhouette didn’t work. Now you made it bigger and added crazy bright flowers. Also, it looks maternity. There was a lot of that this week.

Mondo

MJ = Likes it…with a sneer. I’m glad Mondo is turning the crazy up a little this week, but it’s bordering on slutstress mod space uniform. It’s January Jones in X-Men: First Class but with much less class. Maybe I’m distracted by the shiny.
DM = Loves it. It is the opera in a fashion forward youthful way.
GC = Likes it. I like the cut and fabric and the dramatic collar. I wish the gown part was floor length.

Jerrel

MJ = Hates it. Ooh, child! The proportions are awkward and unflattering for the model. It’s what Whitney Houston would wear to a late 80’s party but less, you know, cokey. Again, I like the top, but whatever is happening at the interface with the lower print portion, it’s not good.
DM = Hates it. Is it a muumuu? Is there fur growing out of the model’s boobs? Did all of the models get knocked up this week ? (See Sweet P)
GC = Likes it. I love the sheer black panel and the choice of fabric, but this seems kinda maternity.

Kara

MJ = Likes it. Yes, it would be an odd choice for an opera, but I think she succeeds in making something youthful and chic. I could see this on a rich 17 year old Upper East Side girl. The hair is a nice touch; its severity undercuts the otherwise playful dress.
DM = Loves it. Weirdly, I liked it. During the show I thought it was heinous to pick that fabric for the opera, but on the runway I changed my mind. I think it’s a successful teen option. Maybe not as successful as Kenley’s, but still successful.
GC = Hates it. The idea is fine enough, but chop that dress off 3 feet, and then it’s a cute cocktail dress. Also, so much volume right at the waist made her look pregnant.

Anthony

MJ = Loves it. Ooh, really liking the jeweled waste. The black gloves could be shorter, but I like the contrast nonetheless. I didn’t notice the asymmetric top at first. Mostly I think this one’s among the most polished of the otherwise pretty ho-hum looks.
DM = Loves it. Sex on a stick!! I could do without the draping on the one arm, but that’s one white dress that doesn’t make the wearer look so pure…
GC = Loves it. It’s interesting with the asymmetrical elements and the color is beautiful, but I wish he had styled it in a more elegant way. It looks more Grammy’s than an Opera.

Austin (Winner)

MJ = Loves it. The bodice is amazing. The dress fits the model great, and we get some side-boob. I even don’t hate the odd hair styling. My only complaint is that the tulle looks slightly out of place as it hovers off the body towards the bottom. This is one of the few that to me says “opera.”
DM = LOVES IT! Sign me up, I want one. It’s so regal and I LOVE the color palette. When I saw the back, I gasped because it’s just the right amount sophisticated sexiness. Right call judges!
GC = Loves it. Of course Austin won on this challenge. He is classy. This gown has a good age range and is kinda country club, kinda disco. The tulle is beautiful and it’s gold lame’.

April

MJ = Likes it. The editing of this episode of course sets her up to be either the loser or the winner, so I want to like this dress more. The dying is interesting, but it doesn’t go far enough. I think it’s better in the back too. Why was the model constantly hiking the dress up? And you know what? This is Mila Jovovich in the Resident Evil movies.
DM = Loves it. I know it was kind of a disaster, up close there were TONS of mistakes, but from afar the concept was fabulous. I wish she’d had more time. The cut (in theory) and the dying of the fabric gave the dress a wee bit of punk rock flair that I really liked.
GC = Loves it. True, it’s not executed well, but I like her ideas and that she tried to do something different.

Michael

MJ = Loves it. Damn, gurl! This is what Kim Kardashian wants to look like. (I promise I wrote that before judging.) The shoulders are amazing as is the cleavage reveal. It’s shiny and shimmering, yet it’s pretty simple and elegant. It’s more versatile than the others without being boring. Clearly the best dress.
DM = Loves it. Now THAT (Mila) is how you do black. This dress is dripping in decadence.
GC = Loves it. It’s so Kardashian, but it a good way. It’s sexy and campy. Love the back detailing.

Other Thoughts

MJ = This episode was pretty boring, no? The judges just don’t do it for me. Where’s the sarcasm and wit? I can’t help feeling these people are like, famous enough to be on this show but still not famous enough to come on this show (in hopes of getting more publicity). Also, we all mostly agreed this week. Lots of odd maternity/preggers + some 80s/space-age stuff was going on. Several noted the Kardashian influence.

GC = Still boring. We need a little drama.

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