American Horror Story: Episode 12

It’s the finale of American Horror Story! I watched it with the windows open — cold winter breeze blowing — and the lights off. I also wore a full latex bodysuit. The “works” as I like to call it. I do not approve of the silver band the prop people put around the back of what is obviously an iPad 2 so that the Apple logo was blocked. Meanwhile, chew it up, Jessica Lange!

Oh man, the scene at the hairdresser? I feel like they must have added that after she got the Golden Globe nom, like, “show ’em what you’re made of daaahling!”

Indeed. It did feel a little bit artificially latched-on. Like the end of Caprica.

—–

The living can see the dead only if they (the dead) will it. OK, yes, now much of the appearances/disappearances make sense. Is the same true for the dead seeing the dead, or do they always see each other?

That is a really good question. One of the scenes that really bugged me was when Ben gets murdered by the ghosts. Where were Vivian and Violet? I mean, they are always in the house, what could possibly be keeping them from stepping in and saving him?

Oh my gosh I didn’t even think of that! Yah, seriously, where were they? I think they could have predicted that he was going to be a target and thus done more to safeguard him. Or at least watch him? Um, they’re immortal ghosts…what else are they doing?

—–

Physically, couldn’t Vivian nurse the baby? You know, assuming he’s in the house. I feel like it would work. Ghost sperm work.

I think there is some real inequality between the powers of the ghost sexes. Women can’t get pregnant or nurse, but dudes can impregnate ladies?

It’s the Tiffany glass ceiling of Murder House.

—–

Is there something a little cheap about the way Dermot’s family ghosts urge him to leave, forgive him, and in general forget about all of his sins? We haven’t really seen that behavior from any of the other spirits. What’s so special about them? It felt pretty forced to me.

I agree. I thought maybe they were pouring it on because that was the only way he would leave, if he felt there was some closure?  But then when they are all standing around the X-mas tree hugging each other it was so cheeseball. I do however like that their happiness distinguishes them from the other ghosts — that they are a force for good now will make it more interesting in season 2 I think. (Subquestion: where do the ghosts get new clothes? Is there like a giant walk-in closet in the basement, and they can just take their pick? Vivian’s green dress was feirce.)

Ha ha! Yah, really. Where does anything come from in this house? Where did that rope come from? I suppose there could be leftover clothes from past tenants…but doesn’t Marcy the realtor have the place mostly cleaned up? I guess she sometimes sells the furniture, so who knows.

—–

So Ryan Murphy has stated in interviews that his intention is (or has always been) to have a new family every season. I…don’t think that’s such a terrible idea? We’ve been wondering all season how this would all end up, and as main characters started dying, I suppose this was the best outcome. Still, there is a part of me that feels like my investment in these — some more than others, ahem, Dermot, ahem — is being wiped clean. Sure, they’ll show up as guest ghosts next season, but will I care for them? For the new tenants? Maybe we need some time with only the ghosts.

I agree that some time with only the ghosts would be interesting. They could do a mini-season like when they shot Gossip Girl in the Hamptons!

OMG that was my favorite season, despite all of the Vitamin Water product placement. Still, kudos for killing off most of the main characters in one season (AHS, not GG…or, hmm, maybe GG)…yet having a built-in system for future cameos.

It is bold. I don’t know how season 2 can be pulled off really. Who can replace Tammy Taylor? Dylan McDermot’s ass?

TAMMY TAYLOR IS A NATIONAL TREASURE. There, now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to say something possibly incendiary: Is Connie Britton not right for this show? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love her, but towards the end I just wasn’t attached to her character, the more and more abused she became. I’m sort of…not unhappy she will be leaving the show…mostly because I look forward to whatever else she does. Damn, actress cannot catch a break. Also, if any of the ghosts ever wanted to remain alone in the house (as much as they can, considering all the others), they could easily make themselves known during the tour. “It’s a tragically romantic love story… This is their dog.” “Well at least they weren’t murdered.” Nuff said.

Oh man, I cackled at the dog’s miraculous reappearance!

—–

Not enough Miguel butt.

Ha! Also, I enjoyed the brief love triangle between Violet, Sk8r boi, and Tate.

He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?

—–

The ultimate villain on this show is in fact Marcy the Realtor [from Hell].

Yeah, I think they are overdoing it with the racist “jokes.” I wish they would bring Marcy more into it, because even though she knows people keep getting murdered in the house, to my knowledge she has never seen or interacted with any of the ghosts. How is that possible?

She seems to commune mostly with Constance, right? Who is setting up the estates of the dead, and how do they always know to contact Marcy? See, that’s why I think there is and/or should be something more sinister to her character. Even if she didn’t, I dunno, quit being a realtor for life after numerous clients horrifically die…at least she’d quit this house!

—–

When Vivian eviscerates Dermot…wow, that was quite disturbing.

I liked that a lot, because it showed that they hadn’t totally forgiven each other, and it gave a taste of the shenanigans that might ensue in the second season, since it looks like they are teaming with Wonky-eyed maid to keep others from falling victim to the house.

—–

Yikes, so that [apparently not stillborn] baby is never going to age?

Which begs the question, do ghosts poop? Because, ew. Also, I guess Ben and Vivian know that “their” baby is with Constance, but they seemed to write that kid off as soon as ghost baby was discovered. I thought that was weird. Also, HOLY SHIT WE HAVE A SERIOUS GOOD SON SCENARIO ON OUR HANDS. Loved Constance’s facial expression when she found the dead body.

That movie seriously comes up in every recap every day of my life.

—–

If I were to make one complaint about American Horror Story, it would be that not enough of the metaphysical stuff was explained. Like, why do almost all of the deaths revolve around adultery, children, and/or sex in some way? It’s a selfish complaint, of course, since that would probably ruin the show. All in all I have to say that, shockingly, this show was rather entertaining, well acted, cohesively written, and oddly charming. I feel like it gained momentum over the season, but we were, I dunno, in on the ground floor and thus cool? Jokes.

I agree that this is a solid show, I just hope they keep up the momentum. I disagree that I want to know about why things happen, though. Remember when Lost tried to explain itself? Bad move.

You’re pyschic (or a spirit? wait no, I’m in a house, so that would make me…oh shit I’m dead!) because I was just thinking the same thing. Lost‘s explanations were almost never satisfying.

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