American Horror Story: Episode 7

Is it possible Murder House/American Horror Story hates us? Or is it more likely that we’re drawn into yet another artificially layered yet abstracted genre program with a clever premise, excellent character actors, and yet a seemingly endless supply of disbelieve and lack of confidence?

All of the above.


So essentially (and no thanks to the process of elimination) we learn that Russel Edgington was not only the accomplice to Jessica Lange/Constance but also the father of so many unwanted children. So, so unwanted. This was not so unbelievable because of the faces involved. Burn, it must all burn! Did we need to see the face of the child he smothers in the attic, though? I suppose we needed to put a face to the idea of Jessica Lange’s earlier children (other than the daughter we’ve already seen), seeing as how she mentioned there were some, you know, problems with them. At least, and perhaps on purpose, it continues the tradition of ghastly child deaths in Murder House.

Yes, Murder House seems to be mostly motivated by child death/desire for children. I guess that’s why there are so many baby pictures in the preview. But that is weird, right? What does it all mean? I’m going to be a downer and say that it really bothered me the whole playing physical defects for fear thing. I mean we got it with Burney Face, but I mostly just felt awful about Constance’s Attic Child. Also, did I miss something: Is Attic Child the one that rolls the ball in the basement, or is that Flying-Pig-Baby? It must be hard to roll that ball with only little hooves.

I totally agree. It was unnecessary for Attic Child to be deformed. There are other ways to frighten us. Totally, the ball-rolling one.

P.S. I think the intro has changed slightly. Did Adam Fuss have something to do with it?

Ha ha!


So we didn’t talk about this last episode, but there was a moment where Tammy visited her [now crazily spiritual] ultrasound nurse lady (sorry…I’m sure there’s an official term) in a church, where it’s made clear that yes, there is something wrong with that baby. What gives?

I see where you are going. I think that Nurse Zealot has the ability to see the evil inherent in the twins, whereas regular people (the other gyno) cannot. She’s special like that: like a human ultrasound.  Maybe she left to go work at a supernatural OBGYN?

“The Other Gyno” is the subheading for my weekly column in The Independent. Just kidding.


So we clearly see that Squinty Maid appears as her more beautiful and younger self with the prospective buyer. Reasons why? And speaking of, what sort of open house has chardonnay? Because I might want to know…

I think that she always appears beautiful and younger in front of dudes (because men are inherently weak and dirty and want to defile her.)

That makes sense. So you’re saying she’s not the one controlling it? It’s the weak men who see her as lusting towards them.

I loved the Chardonnay scene with Burney Face and all the food grabbing. It really helped me to identify with his character more: Don’t we all just want to come back home after a long day of stalking in the shadows to a little chilled chardonnay?

Marcy the realtor obviously wouldn’t have a gun! Ugh. I mean, didn’t you see her lip wrinkles?


Despite her longstanding issues with Murder House, Tammy continues to invest in candles…which I’m actually OK with as long as they help her bring it back to sexual liberation?

My head is still spinning from all the “Let’s move out” “No, let’s stay” back and forth with Murder House, but yes, Tammy likes her some candles. I think it is just practical: sets the mood for some vibrator alone time, decoration for prospective buyers, and can easily be formed into a pentagram for the eventual satanic sacrifice plot line.

And will be very helpful when Dermot burns down the gazebo.


So finally we have a scene where Violet confronts her admittedly terrible parents about how unfair it was to pluck her out of her old life only to transplant her into Murder House. I love/hate how quickly Tammy and Dermot dismiss her very real concerns.

I have a lot of issues about the non-relationship between Violet and the parents. In some ways, it is very realistic, since when you are a teenager you do stay away from them, but it seems egregious the extent to which they ignore her problems. Whenever they have those “tough conversations” nothing is resolved. I guess that is realistic, but my issue is more that I don’t see the deeper connection with these characters. We glimpsed it when Tammy and Violet survived those 3 murder groupies, but not since.

Nailed it.


I wonder if we’ve vastly overestimated the trapped spirits’ abilities to escape their current conundrums. They’re, for one, not doing much to help themselves! T love how Squinty Maid is sort of dismissive of Dermot now that he doesn’t really live there anymore. And, yes, they should bulldoze it! Sadly, those bulldozers aren’t spiritually at peace, so there’s that.

Squinty maid is my favorite character now. I love when she starts a sentence with “Can I speak frankly?” and then unloads some truth bombs.


Ok so this is more a wish than a theory, but I like to think that as the Murder House is describing the acts the spirits are actually relieving their misery in real time. Such is the joy of their afterlives. And yet, it’s a form of therapy?

I guess I just don’t see the misery being relieved though?

Oh, what I meant was that we often see the spirits alone, and they’re sort of reliving their various miseries. If no one is there to see them/be spooked and light more candles, then why are we seeing them as viewers? I think these episodes are actually occurring in real time. Murder House is a horrific nativity scene is what I’m saying. The Three Wise Men are the murder enthusiasts, the Frankincense is the brain Tammy ate last week, and the baby Jesus is, well, you know who.

And oh my those previous tenants! I love how the doctor created this amazing Frankenstein baby, yet it was, you know, not just quite right. Like, it could have worked out, if only that baby wasn’t so blood-thirsty? That was it’s only problem? Admittedly, the layering/chronology of baby spirits is becoming hard to follow.

The sound of the Frankenbaby scurrying across the room was the greatest.

“Frankenbaby” is not a cereal flavor, right?


Could violet do better than Tate? I feel he’s not so bad, in comparison…

They’ve certainly done a lot to make us feel for Tate, but get back to me after you’ve watched the next episode and then we can talk Tate more.

Ominous. I love it.


The most important moment is obviously when Constance says, “Is he dead yet? Make sure he’s off the property before he expires. We wouldn’t want to encounter him again.” So we can definitively say you must die in the house in order to be reanimated as a ghost. Good thing so many people murder-suicided themselves!

Do you think the Armenian’s penis if left on the property after being bitten off (!) will reanimate and cause further erotic torment to Tammy? Or would that take things too far?

I think the reanimated penis will live on, but the dog will use it as a chew toy. A spooky chew toy


I’d love to bring back the totally unsubstantiated yet maybe plausible theory: maybe I’m just getting used to oddball twists, but…is Constance alive?

Hmmm, I definitely think she is alive, but I would love for someone else who seems alive to be dead or vice-versa. Like maybe the real estate agent? Could she be like a Charon-style boatwoman to the hell that is living in the Murder House?

There needs to be some surprising revelation that a major character isn’t alive. I don’t think it’s the real estate agent, although she does seem “cursed” by the house in a way. Why can’t she just drop the listing?


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