The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 6

Oh, magic zombie farm…oh, inopportune- pregnancies…oh, continuously missing characters… Oh, The Walking Dead! Wow, I mean, this show is really going places! Going places? Are we going backwards? I mean, is anyone even working on a cure at this point? Where is this show going!? Goodness McGee, it’s only the sixth episode of the second season, and by this time last year the [SPOILER alert] Centers for Disease Control had been blown’d up! Nothing close to that has happened this season. Well, needless to say, I have some questions for TWD…

OK, so finally we have some sort of explanation for the Magic Farm’s ability to repel zombies. Wait, no, we do? The farm houses zombies…in a pit inside a building…and thus, acres upon acres are somehow immune from the walkers. Despite last year’s seeming cliffhanger, almost nothing happens this episode on this front. Specifically there is no explanation or even theorizing as to how physically any of this works. At least we know why old man farmer did it, though. I do rather like that these people haven’t taken to forgetting that the walkers were not so long ago their friends and family, since, you know, they literally were. Aside from the premiere episode last season, we have hardly seen the characters deal with the inevitable truth that people they know are in fact reanimating.

And speaking of which, of course  if your loved one became afflicted with the illness you’d want to preserve and protect them. However, this is so quickly ignored because it takes only a passing glance to realize that, oh sunny child, that bitch is gONE! It’s instinct. Pure, inhumane instinct. My cats, for example, are loving cuddly creatures most of the time, but should a random piece of chicken breast or [jokes!] roach come within distance of their mouthes…well you can kiss any semblance of emotion/civilization/training goodbye! I suspect it’s the same way for zombies — family or not — and thus, I have no respect or sympathy for the magic farm people. I hope an underground natural gas vein explodes, killing them all.

So, aside from a huge gaping wound, a sweater with words signaling in neon “free flesh here,” or some terribly gruesome terminal illness, can we think of anything worse to be afflicted with during a zombie apocalypse than pregnancy? I mean, aside from the lack of anesthesia, antibiotics (for the most part), and antiseptics, there are so many other issues. She’ll need to feed herself and her fetus. She’ll be slower and more prone to illness. She will be a larger target. None of this is to say that pregnancy in general is bad. Babies are great! Pregnancy during a zombie apocalypse, however, is bad. Sure, you might be thinking to yourself, “but they will need to repopulate the human race somehow,” to which I would reply, “you’re certain that baby won’t come out a walker?” I mean, we really don’t know at this point. All this baby has going for it so far is incredibly beautiful genetics.

Ugh, Glenn. Oh, Glenn…! He went from the seemingly invaluable quick and knowledgeable survivor to…”um, I know some secrets, but those secrets basically don’t affect me or make me any more useful overall…but like, I know some secrets…for a few hours!” His role in this episode seems to be to convey important information to other characters who then continue that particular story line. And to have a girlfriend who is crazy. That is Glenn.

So at one point the survivors decide to teach the youngins the basics of hand guns, which is to say, they shoot lots of bottles with invaluable bullets. Then later the adults shoot at a tree stump. A tree stump! What happened to not wanting to attract walkers with unnecessary loud sounds, not to mention the fact that ammunition is by nature a finite resource? And not only that, but a resource that’s useful for killing zombies. It’s like the writers pooped on the viewers’ intelligence just then. There really is no excuse. I mean, usually when a walker does appear, everyone straight-up forgets all of their survival training anyway and does their best to stream loudly and give themselves tetanus. So why are they learning hand guns at all? Later on we have an admittedly tension-filled moment where Andrea finally learns to get head-shots, and turns out all it took was seeming death! I appreciate this element of growth for her character if only it hadn’t had been way more prudent to just jump in the car and drive away as fast as possible instead. Because it’s a zombie apocalypse!

And speaking of, now they just have a new car at their disposal? Which is equipped enough to warrant wasting gas on driving around in the woods? Why did Glenn and the farmer’s daughter take a HORSE into the town to get ANTIBIOTICS? Again? Can that girl not ride anything but a horse? Have these people never heard of BICYCLES? It does lead to an awesome moment where “that bitch/Lorie almost got [them] killed,” when, of course, a zombie almost kills one of the people who have gone into town — for the second time! — for some random pharmaceutical supplies. 1) Shouldn’t they have taken every single carryable object in that store already? It’s not like they were refrigerated. 2) Yes, I agree that Lorie herself should be going into Zombie Town whenever she needs RU486. OF COURSE SHE SHOULD. Why does Glenn agree, other than to have a purpose? Oh, that’s right.

Just kidding, the car is for hot sexy times in the middle of a zombie forest. I approve! What else are they doing with their free time?

Why doesn’t Lorie just morning-after-pill this fetus then get pregnant (you know, but doing it) later with one she’s sure belongs to Rick? Process of elimination, people! She does absolutely nothing all day and night. The least she could do is repopulate Georgia.

Ugh, there’s always a baby on TV, right, by the second season? It would be too approachable and realistic to have the character have an abortion. Now we can look forward to some insane birthing scene where like, a horde of zombies descends upon the survivors while Lorie’s heaving and panting. One of the actually good characters will somehow sacrifice him/herself for the new baby. Ugh, this show…I love it! I love it?

P.S. I do think Rick needs a haircut, though. Maybe they can sneak that in somehow. Not everything needs to be zombie-related.

P.P.S. And no, we still haven’t found Sophia. Can we all agree that if she is dead or reanimated, a considerable amount of time has been wasted?

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