American Horror Story: Episode 6

My, my, my, American Horror Story is quickly becoming quite the show, isn’t it? Sorry that we’re a bit behind with the recaps. The dynamic duo of AHS lovers/haters has been out of commission briefly. We promise to have the next one up soon. In the meantime, let’s talk about the sixth episode.

Oh, and please leave your thoughts/questions/theories in the comments!

—–

OK, bear with me, I JUST learned that Dylan McDermott is a different person than Dermot Mulroney, and which one is in this show. So, yeah, I’m pretty ready to unravel some confusing plot lines.

Yah, Dermot is actually Dylan. What his character’s real name is…good lord do I have no idea! For some reason, and maybe it’s Connie Britton’s presence (I care more about her as an actor than as a character), but I decided from the start that I wouldn’t bother to learn most of the characters’ names. Maybe because I thought it would be cancelled?

—–

I’m so glad we weren’t forced to watch the deaths of the students in the library shot for shot, excuse the pun, because 1) we’ve of course already seen their wounds, but more importantly 2) the opening scene was already sufficiently scary.

Yes, I agree. The peeing on the floor was a nice touch.

Also, I did not see the teacher coming out unscathed coming, although we didn’t see him dead a few episodes ago, so this makes sense in retrospect.

—–

And yikes, the librarian still works in the library where he was not only paralyzed but witnessed to several murders?!

Yeah, and then is all judgy: “You come here you sickos to see where it happened?” Dude, it is time to get a new job, also a therapist…I can recommend a GREAT one.

Ha ha ha. Yah, totally. And then when the librarian retells the story (snootily, of course) of the crime, Dermot still doesn’t get the connection.

—–

Tate’s killing was overly dramatic, although I suppose he needed to die somehow. Would it not have made any sense for the SWAT team to, I dunno, shoot him in the legs and arms — since they apparently had a dozen sharp-shooters within 10 feet of him at the time — so they could ask a better question than, “Why did you do it?”

Yes, I thought that was ridiculous. But, I wonder if that’s one reason why Tate’s still lingering as a ghost? Like, he needs to admit and come to terms with why he did it?

True. Plus, based on his sessions with Dermot, we can assume he has repressed the memory (since it is portrayed more as a day-dream) and thus hasn’t come to terms with it. Also, it seems like all of the deaths have had an element of unfairness to them, but Tate’s clearly was fair.

—–

OMG, the fake Google.

I love when they do this on movies/TV. But, think about it, wouldn’t you laugh harder if she pulled up Ask Jeeves or Yahoo? Better to just make one up.

I desperately want them to use Yahoo or Ask Jeeves, at least for the comic value. It’s like when they use Bing on Gossip Girl. Obviously, no one uses anything other than Google, but at least those are real! If they simply must make it up, couldn’t they try to not make it look like Google? Anyway, not a big point about the actual episode.

—–

I’ve done no research to determine whether this would work with the broadcast networks involved, but…wouldn’t this have been a good opportunity for a Medium cross-promotion? Am I the only one who thinks this medium has her own agenda? I think she’s lying to some extent with her readings.

Ha ha! I was surprised that the medium didn’t figure more prominently in any way, though I assume she will be back in a future episode. Also, why does Constance or Violet need a medium when they can already talk/make out with the ghosts? I guess I just felt like we deserved a séance. (Would love a 1920s séance flashback too.)

Really? I thought she was in the episode an awful lot. Mediums remind me of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and that is not a good thing. Anyway, yah I didn’t fundamentally understand why we need the medium at all. Are we now to believe that Violet is somehow special? Um, can’t they all already see ghosts, like all the time? The medium is there to…mentor Violet…to be a better medium? You’re right, without a séance there was no point, unless she was going to be like brutally murdered at the end of the episode or something like that.

—–

Does Mrs. Coach Taylor (BTW, I learned her name…it’s Vivienne) have a job? Other than being cooped up in a haunted house all day, that is.

No, Tammy doesn’t work. When she leaves the house she gets horrible morning sickness and must run back to murder house to eat brains and ignore her daughter’s cutting/burgeoning romance with a murderous spirit.

If only those were the only things she was ignoring!

—–

I’m just going to go out on a totally unsubstantiated limb and say that Eric Stonestreet is [SPOILER: was] the Piggy Man. And his character’s name was Eric? Sloppy, sloppy.

I kept thinking the same thing about the Piggy Man, which made me feel really guilty. I guess the way Dylan McDermott Mulroney keeps new patients coming to him despite his horrible skill level is making sure they are hospitalized or killed before they can write up a Yelp review?

Yah, but dead people do not write Yelp reviews. To my knowledge. Rather, dead people do not write positive Yelp review. I suppose Piggy Man could have written a nice review in between his sessions. Where do these patients come from, in all seriousness! And what does he charge?!

—–

The offal platter made me hungry. No question. Just saying.

Ha ha! I actually was thinking about how you were probably like, “Sweetbreads, don’t mind if I do!” I love how Constance corrects the pronunciation. Bitch.

I love sweetbreads. I didn’t realize that they could be the glands of other organs. They’re meta in that way.

—–

Speaking of, though, what sort of well-educated uppity white mother-to-be (of whom there is no doubt Connie Britton is) would eat any sort of random food — claimed to be good for her unborn child or not — brought over by her crazy neighbor, and offal no less!? Obviously, Tammy Taylor would have some crazy muesli/grapefruit/chicken breast diet going on. (I don’t actually know anything about pregnancy diets, but you catch my drift.) I do love, though, how Squinty Maid totally sells it with the “raw food movement” line. Um, clearly this was a human brain. Whose?

This Rosemary’s Baby send-up was way over the top. Who in the hell would 1) eat the brain or 2) continue to allow the crazy old bat maid who “works for free” and grinds with your soon-to-be-ex-husband, and then serves bloody brains continue to be in your house.? Only in Murder House!!!

Right. This was easily the least believable part of the episode, which is pretty incredible considering how hard Dermot tries to be the worst yet highly in demand therapist on television. So Mrs. Coach Rosemary’s Baby (in all seriousness, are we playing too fast and loose with these names?…meh) is driving her to eat brains, but…the brains were there only because of Constance/Squinty Maid.

They’re feeding the demon inside her? What is the point of all of this other than to point out that yes, in fact, something ain’t quite right with that baby? We got it!

—–

OK, so what was Constance’s line, “We need that baby…we need another, sweet child around here?” Like, they somehow literally need a baby in the house?

I’m also concerned about the “sweet child” reference, but am not sure what it means: a baby to replace Addy? Is that Constance’s motivation? Baby stealin’

Baby stealin’ and baby eatin’!

—–

Lastly, and this one isn’t so much a question but more a plea:

“Dear Dermot,

Please do not murder-suicide the security guard (the hot black guy from V). He is the one ray of hope in this bleak show. Tammy Taylor deserves better that you.”

A Morris Chestnut/ Dylan McDermott Mulroney shirtless fight wouldn’t hurt no one is all I’m saying.

Ryan Murphy is the executive producer, after all.

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