Terra Nova: Episode 5

Oh, Nelly! This show is seriously one British accent shy of losing its recap status. In one last ditch effort to preserve interest in this show, let’s look at things from the perspective of the characters who really matter.

Sadly, they didn’t have much of a voice this episode.

Nykoraptor: Rawr! Finally, I’m getting some camera time. And all I had to do was break into this casting building. Oh, this is the green room. Hmm, well, I thought someone in this jungle told me they were filming a show about dinosaurs, but I haven’t seen those cameras very much. Nearly at all really. OK never. I guess I just thought that, like, maybe someone from an alternate future would tune in to this show specifically because he/she/it were interested in watching a television program about dinosaurs like me. Also, what’s a camera? Ack, a rover! Oh, I’ll totally be fine. Just gotta dash and dart and jump and of ffffuuuccc…

Ankylosauri (parents): As herbivores, we’re obviously pro-life. We will nest our baby, no matter its horrific defect. To think that we would be involved with a murder (the first in Terra Nova history, no less) is beyond our imagination. And no, not in the sense that our nervous systems aren’t advanced enough to provide the capacity for such higher-level thinking. Oh goodness no, and are they really going to effectively execute this fellow by exiling him with no supplies?! What year is this anyway? No seriously; we don’t perceive the passage of time.

Ankylosaurus (baby): Freedom, sweet slimy freedom! I thought I was a goner. I appear to have been rescued? Oh, you are hatching me into a strange metallic cave of some kind? Filled with hairless monkeys. I…want to go back into the egg. Every day of my life is agony. Oh the dinomanity!

Malcolmus Pterosauri (orgy, nearby): Oh yaaaaah. So so good. SQUACK. Mmm, yah. Don’t stop. SQUACK.


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