Terra Nova: Episode 4

Oh, Terra Nova. It’s so utterly sad that you’re all we Sci-Fi geeks have left in terms of high-production value television. How is it 2011, and there are no shows based on ships, space stations, underwater, etc.? Sure we have shows in warehouses and freaky towns, but I’m talking like a full-on Battlestar-Trek-Gate-Wars sort of show. I suppose this is set in the future past, but is that enough to hold our interest, especially if its writers continue to rehash schlocky, predictable Sci-Fi conventions we’ve seen so many times before? Oh fuck it, I’ll watch anything!

Did anyone else think that ratty kid was going to pull a knife at some point? Or at least rob them. She’s clearly a spy. Oh, sorry, SPOILER ALERT. Golly this show sure is hokey. Why is Elizabeth allowed to have an English accent but not Jim, who is played by a British man? Why do the stealthy Sixers yell really loudly right before they attack? They get their power from shouting, must be. And I love how that nameless soldier dude man asks what the little girl’s bag looks like (why are the looking for it again?) and finds it literally one second later on the ground right next to him.

The Sheldon family doesn’t appear to have the basic science of “who will parent our children while we work” figured out yet. There was an actual piece of dialogue where the parents go to each other, “I’m going to work, I thought you were taking care of our children today.” Today! How about every day?

Not that the Terra Novans were predicting this whole Sixers rebellion thing from the beginning, but the fences protecting the colony offer no defense from, you know, bullets. Just saying. Couldn’t they have retrofitted somehow? At least for camouflage. “Look around. People are happy here. We’re safe,” is spoken at one point, in direct contrast to that time two weeks ago when a flock of strange razor-beaked flying monsters almost killed all of them. And a week ago when some strange virus nearly wiped out their memories.

Since when is it established moral code that an 8 year old child is allowed to just, willy nilly decide where he/she lives? Children would make crazy decisions like this literally every time you yelled at them, hello! And I love how when they’re trying to integrate this child into their society, they continually refer to her by her first and last name. Also they ram her into school after like day 2! Is this going to work?

OK so let’s try and figure out who the Sixer spy is. I’m thinking maybe Malcolm, the sexy beardy scientist, who is also allowed to be British. Didn’t he just get there a little too quickly to defend moth man? Or obviously the Sixer girl. Dakota Fanning I think was her name. I love how when they’re describing her as “the perfect spy,” which is laughable obviously already, they’re doing this while letting her listen right outside the window! Maybe it was a dinosaur spy? A Sleestak! Maybe the dude with no legs?

And what’s in the box? Is it some kind of dino-alien sex toy? (There should be aliens, amiright?) How do they even know it’s a box? Did they shake it and hear something inside?

Ugh, and this is nitpicking I’ll admit, but I HATE when futuristic shows use pointless materials (like a translucent sheet instead of paper) only to show that they are different. Seriously, what is the benefit to your paper being translucent? In the thousands of years since paper has been in use (and continues to be as I write), in just a hundred or whatever years we’ll suddenly realize how much better it is to see through our notes?

Why has the commander started to dictate how people date? This is stretching the limits of my imagination, more than usual at least. Is the thought to make sure there aren’t bad feelings among the relatively small group, you know if there were lots of bad breakups? Can that even BE avoided? Ugh, this show. I’m done with this side-story. Make it stop! Not sure if im going to last much longer.

And then the ending. Oh the ending. So what exactly was Jim’s plan? Did he WANT to get captured? If so why didn’t he announce himself? Let’s assume he didn’t want to get captured. Already two more qualified soldiers were basically easily captured by the Sixers, so…Jim was going to…I honestly don’t know. It just seems like he drives into the woods and arbitrarily gets off his motorcycle and then is immediately captured. He’s barely not eaten by a dinosaur. I’m just not thinking this guy should have a gun. And can we please not throw in a dinosaur that so obviously has nothing to do with the plot! Or I don’t know, more dinosaurs that do have to do with the plot?

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