The Drunken Movie Critic: The Fighter

The shirtless Mark Wahlberg got me to the movie, but the cracked out Christian Bale made me stay for the movie.

The Fighter is a movie “based on the true story” of Micky and Dicky- two boxing brothers. Dicky fought and beat Sugar Ray Leonard in the 80s but is now a crackhead, in and out of jail, being mischievous etc.  Micky is the younger brother who is trying to be a title contender instead of a stepping stone. With the help of his white-trash family, the love of a good woman and a little luck, Micky might just make it.

While watching this movie, I forgot that Mark Wahlberg is not a very good actor. With those hang-dog eyes and those abs I just want to rub up against, sometimes I forget that he plays the same slightly damaged bad-boy character every movie. But he does play it well, you know, mainly because he doesn’t have to act.

Yeah, Mark Wahlberg is the main character, but what truly makes this an enjoyable/memorable movie are all the amazing complicated characters in his life. His addict brother, brilliantly played by Christian Bale. His sassy-smart girlfriend, who actually wants what is best for him. His nut-job mother/mis-manager who constantly dictates his life. And the best part- his six sisters- all with over teased hair, bad teeth and foul mouths. These players made the movie tremendously better.

All in all, the movie was entertaining. It felt kind of long to me, and I distinctly remember checking my clock and thinking “shit, has it only been an hour? It feels like longer…what other montage-esque moments can this character go through in the next 90 minutes? Ugh”. Just like Netflix, I would recommend this movie if you also enjoy Intervention, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Friday Night Lights, The Real Housewives of Any City.

Mark Wahlberg- I would almost prefer it if you didn’t speak.  You do play the part of “wounded hot guy” super well, so thanks for that.  It makes the nurse me in feel hopeful that one day I can find I man as gorgeous as you to fix.

Christian Bale- For serious. You are amazing. I am not just saying that because you re-invigorated the Batman Franchise. I am saying it because you take on so much with each character…or lose so much? The Machinist, American Psycho, The Prestige, hell, even Empire of the Sun- there is something so non-descript about you. Other than your slightly fangish canine teeth, you seem to be able to change bodies as easily as you change personalities. Damn, kid, keep it up.

Melissa Leo- I feel like I have seen you in every sydnicated TV show on the air. Or maybe I am making it up, but whatever. Either way, you snagged the role of a lifetime- what a complex and sick woman you get to play. And that hair. And the chain smoking. And the high-waisted acid-wash jeans. Nice.

Amy Adams- Meh. I am pretty sure anyone could have played this role, to be honest. This was like, a really feisty Junebug. You did not really act it out for me, but, hey, I got to see your nipples, so we are even.

Overall Rating- 83%


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