Fear of Flying

Ugh. It seems no matter where I work, every hospital/office/cubicle arrangement has crazy people in it- ones who are socially incompetent, strange, ugly and just weird.

I was asked by a coworker how much longer I would be staying in Seattle. She then asked me- what did i like least about the city?

I replied that the airport was one of the worst- the parking is crazy expensive with no good alternative and the light rail only runs during certain hours from certain places. I also mentioned that the flights for my airline (AA) out of there often are not direct and always go through DFW which is a huge and ugly airport. Maybe it is because I am in travel mode, but that was the answer that was truthful
She then decides to tell me that it is one of the best for traveling “to the Orient”..yeah, the Orient, as if I am looking for a spice road or easy access to silk. I mean, really lady?
I decided not to remind her that simply being out to the west is a requirement for travelling west and that, yeah, if proximity to the west was my main goal, then SeaTac Airport would NOT suck my balls. No..I said nothing.

She then asked me where I was going- so I told her, all places in the continental US and that it was not the best airport for that, it does not seem to go directly to anywhere interesting…in the Continental US. This was a conversation that had nothing to do with anything and I wanted it to be over as soon as possible.

This lady then tells me all about EVERY FLIGHT SHE HAS EVER BEEN ON. the one from Seattle to LA to Hawaii, the one from Seattle to Chicago to NY the one from Seattle to blah to blah to BLAH WHO CARES SHUT THE FUCK UP. Then she made some comment about how she disliked flying in the US and she preferred to vacation out of the country…

I just nodded and tried hard not to make eye contact. I did not even mention that she herself, could not get a direct flight to ANYWHERE SHE MENTIONED. I just busied myself with picking up paper off the floor and triple checking the patent’s arms and legs (and his penis, because I am thorough).

She went on about flying for the next 12 minutes until someone came to relieve her, but the whole time it was TSA this and checked bags that and overhead bins and leg room and luggage fees and OH MY GOD I WANTED TO STAB HER IN THE FACE.

The only saving grace was that when she left the room, the resident looked at me and said “what the hell was all that?” to which I replied “I know, right?”

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