Alli, don’t fail me now!
Eggs Benedict (from Bread), Pancakes (from Gizmodo Gallery), Pistachio Yeast Donut (from Donut Plant), and a Bramble (from Donnybrook)
Funny Nurse and I hit up the eastern, generally southern part of Manhattan this past Sunday to indulge in what else, carbs and alcohol (which is itself usually not in low-carb forms). Make that carbs, alcohol, and surliness.
Confused by the conjoined droplets of pancake? Us too. They’re courtesy of a Chefstak Automatic Pancake Maker. I’ll give you a minute to extrapolate its function given that title. It was on display at this year’s Gizmodo Gallery. “CHANGE BAG,” the machine cryptically ordered us via its dot-matrix display. What am I, an IT dude? Also, what bag? Tiny machines that make pancakes in under three minutes don’t make them from scratch? A tree filled with talking elves isn’t hidden inside the glossy metal box? I vaguely remember telling Funny Nurse to “crank it to the max,” which in pancake making-speak means mashing buttons until something beeps.
Still no pancakes. I instinctively opened and closed the lid, assuming it wasn’t searing hot (which in retrospect was entirely possible), just as one would a finicky laser printer that thinks it needs new toner. Sure enough, the conveyor belt started moving, and after about 90 seconds it pooped out what you see here. I guess it really did need a bag refill. I offered to split the nickel-sized Siamese twincakes with Funny Nurse, but she declined.
“Sorry, nerdy druggie shut-ins, if I broke your munchie machine. Your 3D Etch-a-Sketch was heavy and confusing, so I needed nourishment. It’s basically your fault, in a way.”
We were a little tipsy on Pinot Grigio after all. Thanks, cheapest thing on the Bread menu. Donut Plant was bustling with people, per usual. I took home no less than four donuts: creme brulee, vanilla, pistachio, and blackberry-filled [vanilla].
Alli’s effects multiply with each pill, right? I’m sure it’s written somewhere on the label, online, and in those colorful booklets they send with the pills, but I can’t be bothered to check on my wild assumptions! Don’t shatter my universe if you know the truth.
Oh, and booze number two is a Bramble from Donnybrook. We were so fascinated by a vat of horseradish that the barkeepstress gave us a sample of a Bloody Mary. I wain’t complaining!