Drink it up

I can count on two fingers how many free drinks have been sent my way. I am not ashamed of these low numbers because I do not go through life on hand outs…or something…

Last night, I had the pleasure of competing in some awesome pub trivia with friends. I was rather disappointed that we did not win (especially considering most of the patrons were students at NC State), but the highlight had nothing to do with trivia.

The trivia-master decided to dedicate an entire round on alcohol. And yes, my friends, I was excited about the round. I felt that finally the stars were aligned and the universe was working for me- all so I could win a $25 gift certificate! With the help of my veryknowledgeable and alcoholic friends, we flawlessly answered every question- and they were not as easy as one might think- no no.
This alcohol trivia was a list of ingredients and we had to name the drink. Old Fashioneds, Manhattans, Sidecars, Tom Collins…there was not a drink they could give that Heather Martin did not know. Yeah, you read right. I was beautifully bested by my friends. While I know much about alcohol, I surround myself with those who know more. And I am okay with that.

As the last question came up (Rum, Coke, Lime Juice), and Heather furiously scratched down the answer while rolling her eyes in open disgust of how easy this was, the owner of the bar approached the table. He was willing to help us with the question, but I assured him it was unnecessary. The conversation went a little something like this

Owner- I like you guys, the answer to the last one is Cube Libre
Chels- Thanks, but as life time alcoholics, we kind of have this…thanks…
Owner- Well, my liver is huge…
Chels- My liver is twice the size of yours and it has balls
Owner- My liver has a dick
Chels- My liver just threw your liver over the bar and raped it
Owner- My liver…My liver…
Chels- My liver just gave your liver AIDS.

At this moment, he packed away from me and then bowed to me…his master. He then gave the table some drinks. Not bad at all.

As a side note, our team did not win the trivia about booze, we missed one question- A kamikaze. I mean Jesus. The winner of that round was a group of whorish looking girlsfrom NC State who were friends with the trivia-master. They were called “Girls on Top”.Their win surprised me, and I let them know it when I loudly pronounced “those girls look more like bottoms after they get ruphied while drinking PBR at a frat party and I doubt they can spell Kamikaze…”

Oh well, all in all, a good night


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