Dear Meat

Dear Meat,

I know this is hard for you, but I have some things I need to say to you. I miss you, Meat. And with all the loss I have had in my life, I not only miss you, but I miss the things we used to do together and how every things reminds me of you. Allow me to explain.

Getting drunk and eating a Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich- well, how I am supposed to have drunk food now that you are gone. Where am I going to drunk drive, now, Meat? Subway? Are they open late?

I have BBQ sauce in my fridge and not a single thing to put it on- oh, and I have tried to be creative about this. Can I dip vegetables in BBQ Sauce? NO- celery, broccoli, carrots, peppers, cauliflower- all seem as equally tragic and horrible to my refined meat palate. Dare I save the BBQ sauce in case you come back into my life- would that seem pathetic? Wishful?

I need you to tell me, Meat, what am I supposed to put on my salads? tofu? You can go straight to hell if you think I am going to put tofu on my salad, you son of a bitch. Without you, salad is just a pile of rabbit food, a green mass of disappointment. Yes, vegetables have flavor, yes, they are good for me, but when you are there, Meat, a salad is just so much more. It is a whole meal. It completes me. You complete me.

You must think I am crazy, or obsessive, or needy. I lived for a very long time without you, Meat. I was a vegetarian for years and when I was young, it was not that important to me- but I am a woman now Meat, and once you came back into my life, you really opened me up to a world of possibilities. I don’t know how I ever lived without you, you just made everything better, fuller, more interesting.

I remember the first time I had a really rare steak at Bin 54. At that moment, I really felt like you understood my needs and that you could be everything I needed in my life. You left a lingering taste on my lips that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I love you meat, I always have and I am sure I always will.

Even as I write this, I am just now realizing how much I have relied on you. You are not a side dish, Meat, you are the main course. You are what makes a meal. Not only will I miss your taste and all the things we used to do together, but I will miss the feel of you inside me. You always satisfied me. I love you.

Forever Yours,


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