By That You Mean

Having an abundance of cheap lobsters, making lobster rolls for the second time in one week, but then forgetting to segregate the shells in their own trash bag. #MorningAfterRegrets.

You arrive at a restaurant a bit early for a 7:30pm birthday meet-up with your Friend. Is this place Argentinian? No, it’s Peruvian. You promptly park yourself at the bar and order something with a hot pepper in it. Because.

“This place is kinda fancy. Hey, wait…are we eating dinner?!” you think to yourself.

“Hmm, it’s not super full, so fine either way.”

Restaurant immediately becomes super full.

Friend arrives at 7:30pm. You were the first, so you get Prime Seat at table. A table for 12 people. No clue how many people were invited and/or are attending…. Continue reading →

When you learn the outcome of an episode of a show you regularly recap before actually seeing it, based on the search terms that have already brought readers to your website.

Meta.

Going to the convenience store and being able to find only 2 magazines devoted to the new movie release of The Hunger Games. And when the cashier looks at you strangely, without missing a beat, you assure her the magazines are for your daughter…that you don’t actually have.

Having such an abundance of fresh organic produce (kale, spinach, carrots, etc.) that you decide to throw all of it into a blender, making a fresh, super-nutritious energy drink. Then you realize three days later that you are left with a juice that happens to contain cucumber + lemon juice + garlic. Yep that’s pickle juice. Can’t drink, toss.

Huge dilemma: Your favorite coffeeshop in NoHo opens a location just down the street from your favorite coffeeshop in the West Village!

And yes, Think Coffee has been open only a block from ‘sNice on 8th Ave since September, and you don’t know what to do there either.

Being really thirsty and refusing to buy the only drink available because it is labeled, “yumberry.”

The Swissotel at Art Basel now charges thirty-eight Euro for breakfast. Can you imagine?

Having an intense, philosophical, possibly relationship-ending argument about whether it’s OK to buzz the delivery guy (like cabbies, it’s never a gal) up with your order of Thai food (which is so massive that they’ve included extra chop sticks, passive-aggressively perhaps) or if you instead should say over the intercom, “I’m coming down,” before bolting down the steps to get the food that you…forced someone to bring to your front door.